Page 71 of Jam and Jingle Bells
I laughed happily. “Maybe we can take a selfie since I’m the elf and no one else will be there to snap pictures.”
“Mmm, good point,” he agreed. “Maybe like the one we got tonight at the diner by the Christmas tree? I loved that one, but the one of you and Holly had my heart singing.”
“She was so happy after the ceremony, wasn’t she?” I asked, reaching up to smooth my hand down his cheek. “It was like Mason’s words settled her heart a little bit.”
He leaned down and kissed my lips once. “I agree. She was a different kid. She sang, danced, ate cake, and visited with everyone in attendance. I don’t think I ever saw her when she didn’t have a smile on her face.”
“I guess she took Santa’s advice to heart. Laugh at least once a day and smile at least twice.”
“And always remember the magic of Christmas is hiding in your heart, even if you think you’ve lost it completely.”
“You sound like you have experience with that,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his back.
“Addie,” he warned, his body stiffening. “I’m not going to talk about my past with you. It’s over and it doesn’t matter now.”
I pulled away from him and eyed him from head to toe. “That’s your choice, Ellis, but if you can’t, or won’t, talk about your past with me, then you don’t love me the way Shep and Mason love Ivy and Mel. If you’re not willing to talk about the parts of yourself that are damaged and broken, then you can’t expect me to do the same. If you expect me to dance around events that I don’t have a clue about, then you don’t love me after all. You can’t ask or expect someone you love to be part of your present with no insight into the things that made you that person. I told you about my past with Ethan when you asked. I didn’t dance around the subject and pretend it didn’t change who I was as a woman.”
“Addie,” he said, grabbing for me, but I took a step back and held up my hand.
“No, just forget it. I’m going to shower and then go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow and it’s already late.”
I grabbed my phone and slammed the apartment door behind me as I stomped down the stairs. I flicked the light on in the bathroom of the salon and stripped the dress off, making sure to hang it carefully so it didn’t wrinkle. I wiped the tears off my cheek with my shoulder and cranked the faucet over to hot.
When I stepped under the water, my finger wrapped in a baggie, my heart settled heavy in my chest. I’d celebrated true love with two friends tonight who completed each other, and I thought I’d found the man who did the same for me. Apparently, I was wrong.
The apartment was quiet. I stood at the sink drinking coffee from my favorite mug, it was Tony the Tiger saying, “It’s a greeeaaatttt morning!” But it wasn’t. It was a miserable morning and I regretted the things I’d said last night. When I came back upstairs from the shower, the door to his bedroom was closed and the room was quiet. I had gone to mine and climbed in bed, lying awake for hours wondering if I should knock and apologize. After an hour I heard him leave his room and then the apartment door open and close. I figured he was taking a shower, but when he didn’t come back for over two hours, I knew he was doing something else. He was probably at the studio namasting the hell out of the night.
I set the mug down and sighed. In a few hours, I’d have to get dressed up as a jolly elf and spend the day helping Santa with the children of Bells Pass. I’d do it, but it wouldn’t be easy to keep a smile on my face when I was miserable. Maybe, if he gets up in time, we can find a truce before we go.
At the same time, I struggled with knowing I had every right to say what I said. If he thought he could keep his past from me and still have an open and honest relationship, then he was wrong. I don’t play that way anymore. I’d rather be alone than living with someone who won’t let me be part of their life completely. I silently wished there was someone I could call and talk to about this, but there wasn’t. I wouldn’t call Ivy and dump it on a pregnant woman. Mel was enjoying her first morning as a married woman, and my mom was too caught up in love to see the problem. If Heather wasn’t so lovesick over Gabriel I’d call her, but she would tell me to get off my high horse and enjoy the fact I had a guy who loved me.
My phone rang and I answered it hesitantly. “Hello?”
“Addie, it’s Gabe. I’m at your side door. Come let me in?”
“Sure, be right there.” I trotted down the stairs and checked the peephole before I opened it, just in case. “Hi, Gabe, it’s early.”
He nodded as I was still wearing my Christmas pajamas. “Only if you were out partying all night.”
I laughed and motioned him in, closing the door quietly behind him. “It was a great party, though. I saw you there shoveling in some cake, so don’t try to fool me.”
He bounced up on his toes and then followed me up the stairs to the apartment. “Well, you know, the Nightingale Diner does give on-duty officers free coffee, I just lucked out that there was some of Mel’s amazing cake there last night, too.”
“Man, the raspberry filling was to die for,” I grinned, rubbing my belly. I eyed him suspiciously and he finally sighed. “But you aren’t here to talk about cake. If you’re looking for Heather, she comes in at ten.”
“Why would I be looking for Heather?” he asked, looking anywhere but at me.
Oh, does Officer Gabe have a secret he’s hiding when it comes to a particular blonde-haired cosmetologist?
I just shrugged as if to say he wasn’t fooling me. “Okay, if not Heather then you’re looking for me.”
“And me,” Ellis said, coming out of his bedroom with his hair mussed from sleep. He wore a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt, which told me he probably had gone to the studio last night after all.
Gabe nodded and pointed at the both of us. “I have an update about the car and the bottle-throwing. We got a hit on the car, but it was abandoned and torched. It belonged to a member of the Thunder Vipers.”
I sucked in a breath and Ellis came up behind me. He put his hand to the small of my back as if he had that right after last night. “Jeez Louise, Gabe. The Thunder Vipers?” I asked with my hand to my forehead. “That’s …” I just waved my hand in the air.
Gabe bit his lip and nodded. “Not good is what it is.”
