Page 58 of Jam and Jingle Bells
I leaned down and kissed his lips gently. “Don’t worry about that stuff right now. One step at a time. If the doctor is right, you’ll be back in business by the middle of the week. At least you’ll feel well enough to run the classes, even if you can’t do all the moves yourself. I know for a fact we could get one particular little girl in to help her friend Ellis demonstrate the poses.”
He smiled and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again to stare into mine. “I meant what I said in the car, Addie.”
I held his hand to my cheek and kissed him again. I needed to be touching him to make myself feel better. I hoped it made him feel better, too. “I’m not going to hold you to that declaration, Ellis. You weren’t in your right mind.”
“On the contrary, I was. I was aggravated and crabby and you didn’t walk away from me even after the first two jolts.”
I shook my head, my hand gripping his shoulder. “I wouldn’t have walked away from you when you needed me.”
“A lot of women would have,” he whispered. “Instead, you realized there was a problem and I could see in your eyes you were trying to work out a plan to convince me to go to the clinic. Then you were on the floor holding me, keeping me calm, and staying cool. I was watching you as you drove me to the hospital and I had more clarity in that few minutes than I’d ever had in my life. Life is short. Taking chances is necessary. Love is everything.”
“Lifeisshort,” I said, my voice cracking, “but you better not be planning on checking out on me, Santa.”
He shook his head, taking a shaky breath. “Not on your life, sweetheart.”
I took a deep breath and thought about what he said.Life is short. Taking chances is necessary. Love is everything. “I fell in love with you last night watching you with Holly, and again today. I could picture you as a loving father to our children, and that’s when I got a jolt to my own heart,” I whispered, taking his hand. “Okay, full disclosure?” I asked and he nodded, his finger still tracing the line of my jaw. “I fell in love with you this summer during that picnic in the park, but I denied it for months. I came to realize I couldn’t deny it any longer when you passed out in my car and I thought my own heart was going to stop beating.”
The nurse bustled through the door talking about getting him ready for surgery. He held tight to my hand and brought my face down to touch noses. “Will you be here when I get back?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Ellis. I’ll be right here when you come out. If you can’t be in my hands, at least you’re in my mom’s hands. You’re going to be okay. Just relax and let them take care of you,” I soothed, rubbing his shoulder.
The nurse unlocked the bed and a second orderly grabbed the head of it, getting ready to push it through the door. Before he released my hand, he mouthedI love youand I kissed his forehead, uttering the words I’d never said to a man before. “I love you too.”
Chapter Sixteen
I sat in the chair next to his bed and stroked his hair, his breathing even and strong. After a tense ninety minutes in the waiting room, Dr. Morgen came out to tell me he was going to be just fine. His leads weren’t broken, but the device sure as hell was. I was angry that he had to go through this because the manufacturer was so lax in their quality control. The lead had broken off the device, but the lead itself wasn’t broken. They were able to place a new device and he’d be good as new in a few days. I wasn’t as convinced, until three hours after surgery when he insisted we go for awalkthrough the hallways. Three hours after surgery! He promised the nurses he was fine and he’d be careful, but they weren’t convinced either. They made me walk with him holding a support belt while he pushed his I.V. pole. I had to give it to him, he was in stellar shape. What would have knocked most people on their butt was barely a blip on the screen for him.
“You should go home, it’s late,” he murmured, opening one eye. “I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
I smiled and leaned forward, taking his hand. “I know, but I don’t want to leave you in case you need something.”
“Addie, that’s what they pay the nurses for.”
“I meant to ask you,” I said, brushing aside his comments about me leaving, “is there anyone you want me to call? I know your parents are dead, but what about brothers or sisters? An aunt?”
He shook his head and his lips thinned. “No, there’s no one else to call.”
“Ellis, there has to be someone who would want to know you’r—”
“Let it go, Addie, there’s no one,” he said sharply.
Even though his eyes were closed there was an expression on his face that was either anger or shame. Then again, it could be both.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s fine, I really just want you to get some rest. It’s been a stressful day for you.”
I chuckled, rubbing his thigh through the blanket. “You’re not kidding. First, Santa passes out on me and then he tells me he loves me.”
A smile played at his lips. “Actually, it was the other way around. First, Santa said he loved you, and then he passed out.”
I pointed at him. “My bad.”
“Which part was stressful then? The I love you part or the passing out part?” he asked, fully awake now.
“Neither, actually. The most stressful part was waiting while they did surgery on the heart of the guy I love. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever hear you utter those words again. Once I knew you were going to be okay, I wondered if you really meant them.”
He picked up my hand and brushed a gentle kiss across my knuckles. “Trust me, I meant them. I meant them in the car and I meant them again in the ER. I mean them now, too. I love you, Addie. I know that’s a lot to drop on you in the middle of a crisis, but I wasn’t thinking about finessing it. I was thinking about making sure you knew in case I checked out and they couldn’t bring me back.”
