She nodded, a hint of a smile on her face. “I just wish it wasn’t such a bone of contention between us. I have been protecting you, but if you see it as disrespect then you have every right to know his name. I’ve carried the burden alone because he didn’t turn out to be such a great man, Addie. He’s been in and out of prison, he couldn’t keep a job, and the reason I stopped keeping track of him when you were sixteen was that he went to prison again. He wasn’t getting out for a lot of years, so I didn’t worry about it. He might be out now, I don’t know, but if he is, he’s on parole and can’t leave the UK. He’s never coming here to haunt us unless we drag him into the light.”
I sat back against the loveseat and stared at her, mouth open. “You actually have been protecting me all these years.”
“Yep,” she said slowly.
“You really dodged a bullet, Mom,” I whispered.
She nodded, her lips trembling.
“Which means so did I. His choice to walk away was the best thing that could have happened to us, even if it was disguised as the worst.”
“It was hard in the beginning, don’t get me wrong. Once I heard about his first crime, I saw it as a blessing.”
“All these years you didn’t talk about him, I thought it was because you were still in love with him. You didn’t talk about him because you knew he was a mistake better left in the past.”
She laughed and shook her head, a bit of levity filling her again. “No, darling, I wasn’t still in love with him. I fell out of love with him the moment he walked out and left me to raise a child alone. He was a mistake I learned from and I steered clear of men for a long time. Then I met Stan and there was something about him that told me instantly I had nothing to fear from him.”
Stan walked in the room and squeezed her shoulders, kissing her cheek tenderly. “You okay, baby?” he asked, running her hair through his fingers. “Do you need anything?”
She glanced up at him and smiled. It was a look of pure love and adoration if I’d ever seen one. “A cup of tea would be great,” she answered and he looked to me to see if I wanted one.
“I’m good, thanks,” I said and he nodded, leaving the room.
“I hope you know I didn’t want to tell you the truth. I didn’t want you to know the kind of man your father is. His most recent crime was second-degree murder. He got twenty-five years. I wouldn’t be surprised if he serves it all, being that he was a repeat offender. He has also been in prison for assault and battery, and drugs. I didn’t want to tell you this, but at the same time, I didn’t want you to have any delusions about what you were going to find, so,” she sat up and put the paper back in my hand, “it’s up to you. Now you know the rest of the story about why I’ve done what I’ve done all these years.”
I took the paper from my hand and held it up for a moment before I tore it up into a bunch of tiny pieces, watching them float to the ground. “Good riddance. I don’t need your kind of trouble in my life,” I said to the paper on the floor.
She rubbed my back for a moment and smiled. “That’s the girl I know. As for the health conditions, I had a genetic panel run on you when you were little. It was a way to be sure I didn’t miss anything, considering I didn’t know his family.”
I waved my hand. “Wait, why didn’t you tell me that at the diner?”
She shrugged with acceptance. “Because you were determined to know his name. You were determined to find out who he was and if I know you, and I do, you never would have left it at finding your genetic misfortunes. You would have eventually reached out to him and asked for more.”
“You’re probably right,” I agreed. “It’s a flaw of mine.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s the best part of you. You’re always kind, loving, and willing to give people a second chance. It’s just that in this case, Sean’s beyond hope.”
“Sean?” I was more than surprised she’d used his name.
She slapped her hand over her mouth and groaned. “Crap,” she said around her hand. “See why I didn’t talk about him much? It’s really easy to forget what you’re supposed to be protecting.”
I held up my hand. “It doesn’t matter. That’s only the most common name in the world. Besides, I already have an image in my head of him wearing an orange jumpsuit. Now the name Sean is on it. Good enough. He’s being filed in thedon’t think about this person againfile.”
She put her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “I’m proud of you. You’re a strong woman with strong convictions. I knew you’d reach the right decision eventually.”
I sighed and put my arms around her. “I just wish I hadn’t hurt you in the process. Forgive me, please?”
“Not even a question,” she promised. “I love you too much.”
Being in her arms, all the years of wondering, all the years of being torn up about who my father was, and all the years of anger I carried toward this woman for not answering my questions, faded away. I smiled because family is about the ones who have always been there for you, not the ones who walked away.
Chapter Twelve
I pulled up to the curb in front of Mel’s house at exactly four-thirty and hopped out. I was exhausted from the emotional afternoon, but glad that Mom and I had our heart-to-heart. I finally felt like I was in control of my life now. I rang the doorbell and Mel answered looking exasperated.
“Hi.” I stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind me. “Where’s Holly? I figured she’d be all ready to go by now.”
Mel sighed heavily. “She can’t decide what to wear. Is she sixteen and I missed the memo?”