She stared me down for a long minute before she dug in her purse and pulled out a pen and a slip of paper. She wrote on it and then put her pen back in her purse and pulled on her coat. She stood and slid the paper upside down on the table toward me and paused, her hand still on it.
“Here is his name. Let me be clear. If you bring him back into our lives, you’re out of mine.”
She turned and walked away, but there were tears on both of our faces.
Chapter Eleven
I had no idea how long it had been since my mom stomped out the door, but I hadn’t moved. I hadn’t flipped over the piece of paper or done anything but stare at the table, tears falling from my eyes.
A plate was slid in front of me and several tissues were laid next to my hand. I grasped one and wiped my face, knowing it was Ivy and she was going to sit there for however long it took for me to get myself together. The pie in front of me was blackberry and that brought a new round of tears. I pushed it away from me.
“Mom and I always share a piece of blackberry pie on Fridays at lunch,” I whispered, my voice choked.
“I know,” Ivy said, her hand rubbing my shoulder across the table.
“She wouldn’t want it to go to waste though,” another voice said.
“You eat it then. I’m not hungry.” I glanced up to look at the two women in front of me.
Ivy and Mel sat staring at me, their eyes filled with empathy and a touch of pity. It was Mel who spoke. “I can’t eat it. I have to fit into that dress in seven days.”
I pulled it back in front of me and poked at it with my fork. Mel pulled out a package of raspberry jam from the holder on the table and laid it in front of me. “Normally, I object to jam on my pie, but this time, I’ll allow it.”
I picked it up, a shaky smile on my face and opened it, spreading the jam on slowly and purposefully until every inch of the crust was covered. I forked the end of it and brought it to my mouth, but my hand was shaking too much and it fell back to the plate.
Ivy put her hand over mine to hold the fork down. “I heard what she said, but she’s not going to cut you out of her life. She loves you too much.”
Mel shook her phone. “Stan texted me. Loretta went back to work but she couldn’t stop crying. Her supervisor had to send her home. Stan calmed her down, but she feels terrible about what she said.”
I shrugged and laid the fork down so I could cover my mouth and my trembling lips. My shoulders shook and it took me another two tissues before I could speak. “Now I really feel like dog vomit.”
Ivy chuckled and held my hand tightly. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Addie. You have a right to know.”
“Maybe, but I obviously hurt her in the process. That’s not what I wanted.”
Mel took my other hand and patted it on the table. “I think we all knew asking her would hurt her, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing to do. You can’t go through life wondering. Look at me. I did it for seven years and my life was a mess. Now that I know where my daughter is, right here in my arms, I’m a completely different person and my life is finally together.”
I eyed her and while I saw where she was coming from, it didn’t feel the same. “I don’t think me knowing my father’s name is the same as you finding your kidnapped daughter, Mel. There really isn’t a comparison.”
“Actually, there is,” Ivy said. “Regardless of who it was, someone was missing in both of your lives. She has Holly back and now you have the opportunity to fill the same hole in your heart. All you have to do is flip over the piece of paper.”
I nodded and stared at the old bank receipt my mom had written his name on. “I didn’t want it like this. Now it just feels like I’ve betrayed her.”
“Did you think she would give it willingly or?” Ivy asked, her head cocked. “You said it would be a fight.”
I rested my chin on my hand. “I knew it would be a fight, but I had no idea it would hurt her this deeply or be the reason she would be willing to cut me out of her life.”
Ivy shook my hand gently. “Don’t let words said in anger rule your emotions. We’re good at that as humans, but you have to look at what lies below the words.”
“Fear,” I said instantly. “Fear and pain. Probably she also felt like I didn’t appreciate her for all she went through raising me without him. I get that. I didn’t want it this way,” I said again, shaking my head. I glanced down at the paper and shoved it toward Ivy. “Would you fold that in half with his name on the inside?”
She picked it up and God love her, she didn’t look when she did it. Then she slid it back to me.
I picked it up and tucked it in my purse. “Thanks. I’m going to take it back to her. I don’t want the information at the risk of our relationship. There’s a real possibility that no matter how careful I am, he finds out I’m looking into him. I can’t risk losing her if he comes back into our life that way.”
“That’s fair,” Mel agreed, “but think about it a few more minutes before you go over there, okay? Stan said she’s resting, so you can take a breather here.”
Ivy stood from the table and rubbed my back a couple of times. “I’m with Mel. Sit here as long as you need to. I have an appointment with the OB or I’d stay.”