Page 42 of His Christmas Star
She was silent long enough for me to take two breaths, and then her head drifted toward me. “Wait, are you saying you love me?”
“If you’re saying you love me, then yes, we can’t say it’s unrequited.”
“Joe,” she whispered, and I nodded, resting alongside her and stroking her face. “Why? How?”
“Why would I love you?” She nodded, and I smiled, running my thumb across her bottom lip. “Why wouldn’t I love you? You are the brightest star in my world. You always have been. I spent a lot of time telling myself that I was supposed to be your big brother and your protector, but I think I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you. And not in a creepy kind of way,” I said, trying to clarify.
“I know what you mean, Joe,” she whispered. “Like regardless of our age, our hearts were connected. We may have gone different places and seen different people, but that connection kept bringing us back to each other time and again.”
“As though it were waiting for us to finally agree with what had already been written in the stars.”
“You were mine.”
“And I was yours,” I promised with a wink. “I’ve known it for years, and so did Daddy Nash. He kept telling me one day you’d know it too. I guess we just had our wires crossed for a few years there.”
Her quick nod didn’t hide her chin tremble. “But, Joe, the history between us.”
I paused with my thumb on her lip. “Our history is important, baby. Those years taught us about ourselves and each other. It’s like twelve years of dating and fighting is already complete.” She smiled, which is what I was hoping she’d do. “I love this smile. I hadn’t seen it in so long, and then you hit me with it standing in the dark with snowflakes all around us. I was lost all over again. I don’t want to be without you anymore.”
“You’re not just saying that because of Daddy Nash?”
I smiled and shook my head, though I suspected the smile was a sad one. “No, I’m saying it because I love you, Tobi Star. I always have, and it’s been enough years now that I know I always will. Daddy Nash simply reminded me that we never know how long we have here on this earth. I didn’t want to waste any more time being afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid to share how much I love you only to be rejected.”
“Rejected?” She lifted her hand and touched my face in a way only she could. “I would never reject you, Joe. You are the best man I’ve ever known, and look who I’m surrounded by.”
I smiled and kissed her palm. “I will take that as a compliment, even though I think you might be biased, if you do, in fact, love me.”
“I do,” she whispered, her chin trembling again. “I do love you, Joseph Nash.” She closed her eyes and swallowed, tears leaking from her eyes and running down her cheeks. “I never thought I’d get to say those words to you.”
“Because you were afraid?”
“Ashamed,” she said, her hand falling from my face, but I wouldn’t have it.
I picked it up and kissed each knuckle. “Never be ashamed of who you are and what and who made you that person, Tobi Star. I know that I contributed to your low self-esteem, but now that I know you’re willing to give me a second chance, I’ll spend every second we’re together proving to you just how incredible you are.”
“Joe,” she whispered, her eyes telling me everything her lips weren’t.
I lowered mine to hers, ready to share the first kiss of the rest of our lives.
He loves me. Was this real, or was I dreaming? He slid his leg between mine and moaned into my mouth, the sound loud in the silence of the early morning hours. I wasn’t dreaming. Jo-Jo loved me but was afraid I would reject him. His kisses were hot, sweet, and loving all at the same time. The way he cupped my face as though I were a glass goblet made my heart melt for this man. The way his tongue roved around my mouth made my heart pound for everything we could be together.
His lips still on mine, he moved the blanket off me and slipped his hand under my shirt, his warm hand rubbing a circle across my ribcage. It brought goosebumps to my flesh, and a shiver ran through me.
I grasped his hand and held it still. “Joe,” I sighed, wishing I didn't have to be the voice of reason. “We have to stop. I don't have any protection here.”
“I do,” he said, diving back in for another tour of my mouth before I could say anything.
When he broke for air, I lifted a brow at him. “Do you always carry protection?”
He lifted his other brow back at me. “If you mean my gun, yes. If you mean condoms, then no. I bought a pack the other day when I picked up your prescription.” The grin that tugged at his lips was sheepish.
“Confident much?”
He shook his head, his thumb tenderly rubbing the bump on my forehead. “No, not even a little bit when it comes to you. I've bought countless packs over the years only to have them expire and get tossed in the trash. I bought them intending to come clean to you about the way I felt, but I always chickened out.”
