Page 14 of His Christmas Star
“I thought we knew the truth. I’m confused, Daddy Nash.”
“I think Joe is too, and that’s understandable and his right. The truth is, I’m not Joe’s granddaddy. We don’t share any blood.”
“What now?” I asked, leaning forward. Was his mind going quicker than any of us thought? The things he was saying didn’t make any sense.
“I think Joe is hurt that I kept it a secret his whole life, but I thought that was the right thing to do. The only reason I told him was I’d rather he hear it from my lips than read it on the paperwork he will find when I’m gone.”
“You’re serious? Joe isn’t your grandson?”
“Not by blood, but I raised that boy, so to me, he is my son.”
“I know, Daddy,” I said to calm him, taking his hand that was still tapping on the wheelchair. “Joe knows it too, even if he’s upset or unsure how to feel. He knows who raised him.”
“I don’t think he does right now, and I suppose that’s to be expected. Suddenly, who he thought he was is something else entirely. I wanted to tell him so I could be around to answer his questions, but I think maybe you should know about it in case you’re the only one left to help him.”
“You’re not leaving us that soon, Daddy Nash,” I said with determination.
“I don’t think this works on your timeline, girlie. I asked one of the aides to help me write a letter to him. I want to give it to you, so when I’m gone, you can give it to Joe.” I nodded, and he relaxed a bit into the wheelchair. “Thank you. I knew I could count on you, Star. He’ll be a growly bear with everyone but you.”
I laughed then, the sound traveling into the night sky before it rained back down on us with immeasurable amusement. “You’re right. With me, he’ll be worse, but I can take it.”
“I know you can. You always could take it, even when you shouldn’t have had to. Joe knows that he treated you poorly as a kid. I hope I taught him how to be a man who atones for his mistakes. That’s all I was doing with Joe.”
“I still don’t understand how Joe isn’t your blood.”
“Well, you see, when I met Clarissa, she was already pregnant with Laramie. She lived in Water Creek and had gone to a party one night alone. She hooked up with a guy, and one thing led to another. He was gone the next morning, and all she knew was his first name. I met her the next week, and we hit it off, but I mean, not that off,” he said with an eyebrow raised, and I nodded, chuckling. “She didn’t give it another thought until she found out she was pregnant and already five months along. I’d planned to marry her since the day I met her, so I put a ring on it, as the cool kids say these days.”
My laughter was lighthearted even in the face of such unexpected news. “You are one of the coolest, Daddy.”
His grin said it all, and I motioned for him to continue. “We married, and when Laramie was born, no one questioned anything. I secretly adopted her to give her my last name, and that was just how it was all her life.”
“Did Laramie know?”
“Nope,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “She died never knowing. I can’t decide if that was good or bad. I suppose these days, you could probably find a baby daddy with all those DNA tests out there, but there was no way back then. Clarissa and I didn’t much think it mattered since I’d been her father since day one.”
“I agree with Clarissa. You took care of Laramie, and that made you her daddy, regardless of blood.”
“Which is why I did what I did with Joe,” he said, his head leaning back against the wheelchair as he fatigued. “When Laramie passed on, and his birth father was missing in action, it wasn’t right to let the boy go live with someone he didn’t know. I might have been old, but that was experience under my belt, the way I saw it. If I could raise him even ten more years, at least he’d have a good start to his upbringing. Your grandma was going to take him if I didn’t make it until Joe was eighteen.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised. “She never told me that.”
“I don’t suppose she needed to since I’m still kicking, and she ain’t. I agreed to take you and Cody if she rode off before me. It was a pact we made to keep you all together. Then you all made it to eighteen, and our work was finished. When Cody passed on so young, and then your grandma of cancer, I decided not to tell Joe the truth about his birth. He already knew his real daddy didn’t want him. I didn’t want him to think he was a charity case or something.”
“Do you think that’s how he feels now?”
He held up his right hand in a one-sided shrug. “Don’t know. He won’t speak about it. He comes once a week to make sure I’m still sucking air and then leaves. I’m sorry for dumping this all on you, Star,” he said, squeezing my hand limply. “I just know Joe is going to need someone he can trust once I pass on. I know he’ll act like he doesn’t, but he will.”
I nodded pensively. “Especially if Joe doesn’t make this right with you before you go. I’m confident he will, though. He just needs time to think about it.”
“I hope you’re right, Star,” he said as I started pushing him back into the warm facility. I couldn’t take the cold any longer, which meant he had to be half-frozen, wrapped up in blankets or not. “I don’t want to leave this place knowing he’s angry with me.”
I patted his shoulder while I waited for the doors to open. “I doubt Joe is angry. If I had to guess, I’d bet he’s confused more than anything. I’ll talk to him when I see him next.”
I pushed him back to his room and helped the aide get him situated back in his warm bed with his blankets pulled up to his chin. I kissed his cheek and straightened his blankets a bit.
“Dawn’s fudge is stashed in your drawer. Make sure you have some of it tomorrow. I’m going to head back to the ranch and get some work done while you rest.”
His frail hand came out from under the covers to grab mine. “Take the letter. It’s in the top drawer of my stand.”
