Page 45 of Due North
“Why would you do that?” I asked with my head cocked.
“To give you a break,” he said as though I should have known. “Once we have guests back, you’ll need the lunch hour to feed the guys and start supper. Also, if she’s here sleeping, that’s a forced time-out for me, too. I’ll have to stay in to do paperwork, which means I’m resting for part of the day.”
“You need a reason to rest?” I asked, laughing at the very idea.
His head nod was very precise. “I do. That’s my personality. I’m always the first one up and the last one to bed. If I keep doing that, I’m never going to get my strength back. The doctor was happy with my progress in just a week and told me to keep doing what I was doing. He said I might only need another three or four infusions to get this flare under control again. That’s my goal more than anything. I want to get it under control and keep it there so I can live a normal life. I don’t want to be my mother who didn’t treat it and ended up destroying her entire world because of it.”
I rubbed his shoulder, my gaze holding his as I read the pain and anger that still lingered there. “You have more maturity right now at twenty-six than she did at forty-five, Caleb. I know you would never do what she did.”
“Do you trust me enough to keep her during her naptime?” he asked, glancing down at Poppy, who was now sleeping like a log. “I would keep the walkie, and if there were a problem, I’d radio you right away.”
“Without question,” I agreed, nodding as I rubbed her back. “It’s like you two have a thread that tethers you together. She was just a bear tonight until we got here and now look at her,” I said, chuckling as her new cup fell from her lips to slide down his chest. “She’ll love spending time with you every day, at least until you start working again.”
He shook his head as he gazed at her sleepy face. “No, I will be scheduling that time out every day now. This disease will eventually get better with the medication, but if I push myself, it will flare up again and again. I will always need a forced timeout if I want to work the rest of the day. That’s just the way it is.”
“I think that’s good,” I said, squeezing his shoulder. “You have always pushed yourself too hard to be everywhere at once. Have you noticed how the rest of the hands have stepped up since you haven’t been able to micromanage every little thing?”
“Are you saying I’m a control freak,” he asked with his brow lowered to his nose in fake dismay.
My laughter was light and airy at his question. “Just a titch,” I said, holding my fingers close together. “And that’s okay until it isn’t. You hit the not okay level on Halloween. My point is, the ranch isn’t falling down around our ears even though you aren’t out there doing all the work.”
“I’m not doing any work,” he growled, and I could tell it was bothering him immensely. He saw not being in the barn or not riding the ridges as failing to do his job as a cowboy, but he was wrong.
“You are, though,” I insisted. “Everything is running smoothly because you’re giving each hand a list of work for them to do each day tailored to their strengths. You’re making the phone calls, doing the paperwork, and answering questions as they come up. Honestly, that’s what a foreman does. They supervise and direct other workers. When questions arise on the ranch, you’re always there to answer them. You were there to oversee the new sand being added to the riding ring, and you picked up all the supplies on the way back from town. You have to teach your brain to understand what you’re doing now is being a ranch foreman.”
“Maybe, but I still struggle with it,” he admitted, shifting Poppy on his chest.
“And I think you will for a long time to come, and that’s okay. Change is hard. Look at me. I became a single mom overnight, and I’m raising a toddler without knowing how to do it. At least you already know how to do your job.”
His hand slid up my cheek again, and his roughened thumb rubbed my cheek. “So do you, Cece. Look at her. She’s fed, clothed, and happy. You know what you’re doing. You just have to learn to trust that everything you’re doing is in her best interest.”
I glanced down at my niece again and tried not to sigh. The truth was, being here tonight was not in her best interest. If I fell any harder for Caleb and things didn’t work out, we’d have to leave this wonderful ranch and the people who support us here. Then what would I do? She’d never be the same. Neither would I.
“Hey,” he said, bringing my face closer to his while he held my gaze. “Relax, Cece. Just relax for the night and let all the worry go. We can worry about the implications of our lives together tomorrow. Tonight, let's drink good wine, eat excellent food, and find some joy and laughter together. Okay?”
His coffee-brown eyes were swirling with a determination that drew me in and held me there. I wanted to be part of that life, part of the image he drew of a carefree dinner and good company. I wanted to have that part of my soul nurtured tonight. I suspected it would make me a better mother tomorrow.
“Should we put her to bed before the food gets overdone?” I asked, motioning at Poppy.
“Yes,” he agreed, the pressure of his hand drawing me closer to him. “But first, I’m going to kiss you.”
When his lips touched mine, they told me I was in trouble. This was most definitely a date. My hand came up to caress his rough five o’clock shadow, and the warmth of his skin grounded me for the first time in months. He pulled me closer and cradled my neck against his arm while his lips cradled mine in a sigh-inducing kiss of sweet magic. He kept the kiss light and easy, but the underlying strength it took to do so must have been great for him. I could feel his energy humming through me as he tried to contain his emotions.
My traitorous moan filled the room and was a jumpstart to his already charged emotions. The sweet magic disappeared, and pure desire took over, licking, sucking, and teasing until I opened my lips and let his tongue in to dance with mine. This man had so many layers I wasn’t sure I would ever have time to unwrap them all. He was strong, devoted, calm, kind, loving, sweet, and sexy as hell in his living room, wearing nothing but jeans and an old flannel shirt, holding my little girl, and kissing me senseless.
“God, Cece.” He kissed his way down my neck to my collarbone, where he planted warm, wet kisses across the length of it before his lips traveled back along my neck to my ear. He bit down on my earlobe gently and then kissed the sting away before he blew a puff of air against my ear. “You take my breath away every time I kiss you, and I never want to stop.”
The look in his eyes when I gazed into them told me I’d better put the brakes on whatever this was between us before I let mine and Poppy’s heart get broken.
“The food was wonderful, thank you,” I said after I stuck the leftovers in the fridge and joined him again on the couch with my glass of wine. “I’m glad we had a chance to do it tonight. Things will get busy again in a few days when the cowboys come back.”
“At least for you,” he agreed, taking a sip of his wine. “I’ll still be on that forced time out.”
“I don’t think it’s as forced as you want people to believe,” I said, finishing my wine. He didn’t do anything but stare at the door, which told me I was right. “You’ve changed, Caleb. You’re not the same cowboy you were this time last year. In my opinion, it’s about damn time.”
His head whipped toward me. “What does that mean? You didn’t like who I was last year?”
“I didn’t say that. What I meant was, we all knew you were hiding under the persona of Tex,” I said, using air quotes. “We didn’t know why, but we knew it was an act. Everyone always had, according to what Heaven says. What I see in your eyes now is an open, honest man who may not have perfect control of his life but is finally starting to live it again regardless. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.”
