Page 30 of A Smile Full of Lies
I shivered. That was better, closer to what I wanted, but still, somehow just… not it.
I scrolled again, heart racing, caught somewhere between shame and fascination, and Knox kept creeping into my thoughts, even though I didn’t want him to.
He was my friend. My neighbor. The guy I’d shared movie nights and cups of sugar and roof repairs with. My ex-boyfriend’s ex-best friend, even if he and Thayer had barely spoken after the triple funeral for Knox’s family.
He’d carried me out of the party when I got roofied. He’d stood beside me at Gran’s grave. He brought groceries to my door when I couldn’t bear to leave the house.
And I kept thinking about howhelooked in a black hoodie. How easily he could disappear into a shadow. How big his hands were. How deep his voice could get when he was pissed… or teasing.
No.
I shook my head hard and went back to scrolling. Back to the mask content. That wassafe.That wasanonymous.
Not a real man. Not someone I knew. Not someone who’d kissed the back of my hand the night Gran died and looked at me like I was his to protect.
Still… Ifhewore a mask…
I squeezed my thighs together and groaned again. I was losing it. I was spiraling out of control.
And the worst part about it? I didn’t want to stop.
I didn’t even realize I was doing it until the anonymous forum window was open again. Cursor blinking. Empty screen.
My fingers hovered over the keys, heart pounding. I shouldn’t. I knew I shouldn’t. It wasn’treal.It was just words, a faceless user on a forum designed to give me an illusion of connection.
But itfeltreal. Too real. Especially after what StrayDog777 asked me this morning.
Would you let me chase you?
I swallowed hard and opened our DMs.
GraveyardGirl93
I feel kind of guilty.
Their reply was immediate.
StrayDog777
What for?
I hesitated, then continued.
GraveyardGirl93
Some of the MaskTok creators I found… they make it really clear that they’re not sex objects. That they don’t want people treating them like fantasy fulfillment machines. And I get that. I respect it. I do.
I paused, fingers still twitching.
GraveyardGirl93
It just… made me feel weird. Like maybe I was doing something wrong by even looking.
This time, the response took a moment. Then the words appeared, smooth and careful.
StrayDog777
They’re thirst traps. They’re meant to stir something in you. That doesn’t make you one of the people who cross lines. You notice the difference. You care about it. That’s what matters.
