Page 20 of A Smile Full of Lies
I groaned and turned again, kicking the blanket off with a growl of frustration. My skin felt too hot and too bare all at once. The ache between my legs hadn’t gone away, it had just sharpened and gone molten.
This is not normal.
But it wasn’t the first time I’d wanted someone dangerous. Or strong enough to hold me down. Orgood enoughto make me feel safe even when he was anything but soft.
Knox wasn’t dangerous. Not really.
…Right?
I curled tighter, arms wrapping around my knees, and tried to pretend that the throb in my chest had nothing to do with the man next door.
I stomped out of my bedroom and paced the living room in slow, tight loops, arms still crossed, heart still thudding against my ribs. The front door stayed locked. I checked it three times. My phone lay facedown on the coffee table beside my laptop, but every so often, I glanced at it like it might light up with answers.
Fifteen minutes passed. Then twenty. In the back of my mind, I knew he’d be halfway to Mobile at the twenty-minute mark at this time of night.
The man could wear guilt like armor and conviction like a knife. But he’d also calmed me down in record time, which was somehow worse.
Another twenty minutes slipped by before my phone finally buzzed.
I jumped, then grabbed it off the table like it might vanish if I moved too slow.
Knox
Made it to the office in Mobile. Everything’s fine. Go back to sleep if you can. You’re safe, I promise.
I exhaled sharply, some of the pressure in my chest dissolving on impact. That should’ve been a relief, but it twisted something inside me instead.
Because he was steady. Because hemeantit when he said I was safe. But also because I didn’t want to be steady right now. I didn’t want safety. I wanted?—
No. I shut that thought down before it finished forming. I told myself I was just glad he’d made it to Mobile safely, and that was that.
Mobile.
God, I hadn’t thought about that night in forever. The time Thayer blew me off, and Knox took me to a BayBears baseball game instead. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything… just two friends, killing time together.
The stadium lights had bathed everything in gold. We’d laughed more than we cheered, shared a plate of nachos, and left before the last inning so I wouldn’t have to watch the team lose again.
The stadium’s still there, all lit up and empty, like a ghost of when we still had a local team to cheer for, right across the bay, and no one had traded us in for some bullshit raccoon mascot up north.
Knox had never made me feel like a backup plan that night. He’d made me feel seen and wanted, without saying a damn word about it.
Me
Thanks for letting me know you made it safely. Hope everything goes okay with work.
I set the phone down carefully, like it might explode if I looked at it too long.
Then I curled up on the couch in the dark, wrapped a blanket tight around my legs, and stared into the shadows, wondering when Knox had become the one thing I couldn’t outrun.
Chapter
Seven
OCTOBER 11, 9:00 AM
KNOX
I slepton the couch in my office in Mobile just to sell the lie I’d told Ros when she caught me in her kitchen. The first thing I did after a shower in my office en suite was hit Josh Walker’s number in my recent calls list at 9:00 a.m. sharp. I had no hesitation this time.
