Page 127 of A Smile Full of Lies
I leaned closer and reached for Ros’s hand, careful not to jostle the IV.
“Come back to me, baby,” I whispered. “I’m not done with you yet. Not by a long shot.”
The machines beeped slow and steady. One long, high-pitched tone and I’d lose my fucking mind.
But they kept going. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Her chest rose beneath the thin hospital blanket. Shallow. Barely there.
I sat next to her in one of those uncomfortable vinyl chairs that creaked every time I leaned forward to touch her hand. It was still cold. Still too pale. Her fingers looked too small in mine, and the bandages wrapped around her middle and taped to her chest — both soaked through once already — were a silent reminder of everything I couldn’t protect her from.
The chest wound was too fucking close to her heart, and the thought of that mademinefeel like it was being carved out with a dull blade.
“I should be mad at you,” I said softly. “But I’m not.”
I let my thumb trace the back of her hand, slow and careful, like touching her too hard might undo the surgeon’s work. Like if I just held her tight enough, she’d wake up and this whole nightmare would be over.
“You put yourself in danger to protect me,” I whispered. “To keep me from doing something stupid. To keep me from crossing a line I couldn’t come back from.”
My jaw flexed.
“You knew exactly what I’d do if I found out Thayer was behind it. You knew I’d kill him.”
I looked at her — at the dark lashes fanned against her pale cheeks, the bruise blooming high on her ribcage.
“You didn’t even tell me. You trusted Alyssa, not me.”
That part? That fuckinghurt.
But underneath the sting was something darker. Something raw.
“You were trying to save me,” I said. “And you almostdiedfor it.”
I swallowed hard.
“Goddammit, Ros.”
She didn’t move. Not even a twitch.
I leaned forward and kissed her knuckles. Just once.
“I love you,” I said. “And I don’t know how to live in a world where you don’t wake up.”
I couldn’t stop seeing it over and over in my mind’s eye. Not because I was there. Not because I watched it happen.
Because Iwasn’t.Because she felt like she had to walk into that fire alone.
My imagination filled in the blanks with too much clarity — Ros bleeding out on Thayer’s cold kitchen tile, gasping for air while that fucker loomed over her with a knife. Her eyes wide with fear. Her fingers clutching her side. Her voice breaking.
He was going in for a third strike when I put him down, Alyssa had said.
A third fucking strike.
I could’ve lost her.
She’d been bleeding from the left side. Near her floating ribs and her sternum. Close to her fucking heart. She nearly died protecting me.
And I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there to shield her. I wasn’t there to stop him. Because sheknewwhat I’d do if I found out the truth too soon.
