Page 77 of Magick and Lead
He stood over me now. I wasn’t always aware of how tall he was, but I could feel it now as I tilted my head back to catch the deep blue of his eyes. I searched myself for a clever reply but found only a fluttering heart. My breath felt stolen from me, gone. He put a hand on my cheek. A hand that had piloted planes that had brought dozens of dragons down in rains of fire. A hand I’d seen throw thunderous punches, so gentle now against my cheek. A fire stirred in my belly, and a scene flashed through my mind, carnal and sweet. Charlie taking me here. Carrying me to the workbench along the wall, throwing the tools off into a clatter, lifting me onto it and?—
I wanted it. Wanted him. I was ready.
He bent down to me until his face was an inch from mine, our breaths mingling. I could almost feel both our hearts beating through the barn, as if they were drumbeats. Closer. Closer, and his lips were on mine.
But this was different than the other kisses he’d given me. Those were full of fire. Desire. Rapture. This was slow, deliberate. Sweetly thorough. As if his lips were worshiping mine. Or as if he were trying to memorize the exact shape of mymouth so he could sculpt it later. It wasn’t a kiss; it was an act of reverence. And it wasn’t just lust, though the slow press of his tongue against mine sent an ache of longing radiating from between my legs and into my belly.
This kiss was… something more. I didn’t dare give it a name.
He pulled away slowly, my face cradled in both his hands.
“We need to talk about what happens next, Essa,” he said.
It took a moment to find my breath. “We kill Kortoi,” I said.
“After that,” he said. “I could go with you. Back to Maethalia.”
I blinked. Though he was still so near I could feel the warmth of his body, I tried to pull myself out of his spell. Back into reality.
“That’s… impossible.”
Something behind his eyes hardened. “Because you don’t want me to come?”
“Because…” I paused, at a loss for words.
The truth was, part of me would have loved to bring him back, to have him by my side as I conquered back my country.IfI could trust him. But I couldn’t.
Ruling a kingdom wasn’t like dancing around a maypole with a sweetheart. It was Torzame. We were all pieces on a gameboard, and Ollie had taught me to play well. Even assuming Charlie could be trusted, the value of one man, even a talented ace, was nothing compared to the mighty stellhan Parthar would become once he matured. Accepting Charlie wouldn’t just be foolish, it would mean betraying my entire kingdom. Spitting on my mother’s legacy. Throwing away the future of an entire people.
But if Parthar is bonded to Charlie and Charlie is loyal to you, you wouldn’t be losing Parthar,Othura’s voice intruded in my mind.You could have them both.
Othura. Always piping up at the most inconvenient moments…
As usual, the sense in her words was undeniable. The problem came with one word:if.IfCharlie were loyal.IfI could trust him.Ifsome foolish lover’s quarrel didn’t drive a wedge between us.Ifa foreigner who didn’t grow up in the ways and traditions of the Skrathan could be relied upon to help develop one of the most powerful dragons in the world.
Those were some very bigifs.
It might have been a risk worth taking if it were only my own happiness that hung in the balance. But I couldn’t take such a foolish gamble with the fate of my kingdom and the lives of my people.
And yet… The way he’d kissed me a second ago…
Charlie might be a liar. But that kiss was so full of truth it made my bones ache.
Charlie was watching me, his eyes slipping over every facet of my face. “What are you thinking?” he whispered.
“So many things,” I confessed.
He sighed, an acknowledgement of all that had gone before, all that lay separating us.
“I’m going to prove myself to you, Essa,” he said. “I’m going to start by helping you kill Kortoi.”
I shut my eyes, the turmoil inside me rising like a wave.
“I don’t know if that will be enough.”
He put a finger under my chin and raised my eyes to his.
“I’ll crawl on my hands and knees all the way to the Western Sea. I’ll fight every Lacuna on Dorhane. I’ll die for you, if I have to. Would that be enough?”
