Page 80 of Magick and Lead
When I hesitated, she gave me a look.
“You can swim underwater, can’t you?”
“Ican,” I said. “Just… not well. And I prefer not to. Especially not in the Bentwater River.”
Shetsked. “I’m giving you swimming lessons after this…”
Her words trailed off as she looked away, down the river. She’d used a forbidden word:after. It didn’t take dragonintuition to know what was going through her mind. She’d started to imagine us together after tonight. And she’d stopped herself.
Because after tonight, there would be nous—not in her mind. The weight of the realization settled on both of us.
I reached out and took her hand.
“Essa,” I said. When she didn’t look at me, I said her name more forcefully. “Essa.”
This time, she looked.
Her changeable eyes, now reflecting the river and the sky, were a deep green and filled with sorrow. I saw loneliness reflected in them. My own loneliness. The life of a boy who’d always felt set apart, even in a crowd. Who’d felt lost, even when surrounded by an entire Air Force that revered him. A boy who’d been willing to die to show the world that he was somebody.
I was still that little boy. Still ready to die to prove myself—to Essa, this time.
Just as she was ready to risk her own life to prove herself worthy of being Irska—worthy of wearing the crown, worthy of being the only surviving daughter of a queen who’d died a hero.
“You’ll always be enough for me,” I said.
Her brow furrowed with confusion. She had no idea the train of thought that had led me to utter those words. But I opened up the simnal now and showed her. A flow of memories. Feelings. Desires. I saw understanding fill her eyes. Then tears. Then, she clapped the simnal shut and turned away from me with a shake of her head.
“Charlie…” she opened her mouth, but no more words came. The sentence died, crushed under the weight of everything—two kingdoms. Too many lies. Too unfair a world.
I understood. God, I understood her all too well.
I squeezed her hand. “It’s okay,” I said. “Whatever happens… We’re here together now. And I’m going to stand with you. It’s going to be okay.”
Her eyes glistened with tears, though she wouldn’t let them fall. She gave a bitter laugh.
“Here’s the poet again. Tell me, Charlie. When in the history of our two nations—in the history of the world—has everything ever been okay?”
I took a deep breath. It required effort, as if I were breathing underwater. I turned her question over in my mind.
Then I reached out and brushed a strand of hair from her brow.
“When we were in that cave together on Dorhane. And my arms were around you, and my lips were pressed against your neck, and my eyes were shut, and I could feel your heart beating against me. And I could smell your hair against my cheek. Everything was okay then. Just for a minute. It was perfect. But we can take that perfect moment and we can make it forever, Essa.”
I watched her, watched each wave of emotion that washed over her. Her eyes brimming even fuller with tears that she still wouldn’t let fall. Her lips quirking as she thought of some sarcastic response. Her breath releasing in a sigh as she realized she couldn’t just joke the moment away. In the end, she squeezed my hand back.
There were no words. But our hands linked together—that was enough. It was everything.
A sudden commotion drew our attention across the river. A motorcade of a dozen vehicles had pulled up in front of The Mint. Cameras flashed as reporters took pictures. Citizens shouted and cheered.
“The president’s arriving,” I said.
“And Kortoi,” Essa whispered.
We waited until darkness slipped over the city, the lights in the towering buildings around us blinking on like stars awakening one by one. In a soldierly silence, we went back to the motorcycle and retrieved my oilskin bag, which contained our weapons and a change of clothes for each of us. Then, together, we went back to the river. A set of brick stairs led down to a fishing platform that had been built over the water at the foot of the 18thStreet bridge. From there, we could see The Mint some seventy yards distant. Its balcony was lit up with crisscrossing strings of electric lights, and a pair of spotlights shone from the edges of the deck down onto the river in both directions—a security measure, no doubt.
It would make swimming under the deck even more difficult than anticipated. We’d have to take a final breath at least fifty yards away, beyond where the light reached, then remain underwater until we got to the cover of the deck.
Then, there was getting in. And finding Kortoi. We still had no idea exactly where he’d be or what the security situation would be inside—except there would probably be a hell of a lot of heavily armed bodyguards and mages, too.
