Page 93 of Heart of a Savage
“I ain’t going to kill him… yet,” I said with a smirk on my face.
Mike reached for his gun on his hip. “See?—”
“Leave!” Messiah roared.
They left the room as Messiah’s eyes landed on me. Before I knew it, he wrapped his hand around my neck and squeezed, lifting me from the chair. I tried to pry his hand away from my neck, but he had a strong grip on me.
“That’s the second time you shot at me and missed. You touched my son when you could have left him out of this shit. I love you, Juice, but I will kill your ass for fucking with my seed.” He let me go as I pushed him out of my face.
“What the fuck did you expect? You killed my fucking uncle?—”
“Your uncle killed his fucking self, Juice! The nigga knew what he did. He knew the consequences behind doing that shit! Same with my father. If you would’ve taken him out, that would have been on him! I would be fucked up behind it, but it would have been his fault. It’s the consequence of doing shit that you had no business doing.”
“So, you’re giving me permission to kill your father?”
He looked at me like I was crazy before he looked away. Sighing, he answered, sounding depleted. “Is your uncle’s life worth taking another life? After you kill my father, what good would that do for you? Would you be okay if I had your daddy touched behind those bars?” Anger rose inside of me as I glared at him. “Let me know if you want to continue to beef with me or love me, Juicy. Because we can go family member for family member, until eventually one of us behind the gun ends up dead, but I promise you will lose way more than I will.
“Just give me the word, and the only three most important people in your life will be a memory.”
“Fuck you, Messiah! You think we can continue to be together after what you’ve done? What about when you show up to the barbecues, and my aunt and cousin have to look at the man responsible for taking their husband and father away from them? You think they’ll be happy for us and sing our praises?”
“They don’t have to know a thing. I put my heart and trust in you. I let down my guard for a woman I knew very little about, and as soon as I did, the shit made me feel more alive than I’d ever been.” He stepped closer to me, lifting my chin to look him in the eyes.
“Tell me you don’t want this with me. Tell me that you don’t love me and want a life with me, and I’ll give you that. The shit will hurt me, and I’ll probably grieve you for a while, but I’ll respect whatever decision you make. I love you, Juice. Never forget that shit.”
Tears flowed down my cheeks as he placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Stay with me, baby.”
I stared at him before I backed away from his warmth. His eyes bore into mine, pleading with me to stay, but my feelings were in a topsy-turvy whirlwind. I wanted to stay, but my feet and feelings wouldn’t allow me to.
I continued backing up until I reached the door and walked out it… for good.
I leaned against the car, wearing shades to block the heated sun, as I waited for Paige to emerge from the airport. It had been aweek since everything had gone down between Messiah and me, and I had been an emotional wreck. I hadn’t told my mother about the pregnancy, and I honestly didn’t think I wanted to.
I was still debating whether to keep it or not, so I thought it best to not say anything. I knew how bad my mother wanted grandchildren, but I just couldn’t see myself birthing a child from a man who had my family murdered. Although this baby was made out of love, I still felt as if it would be wrong to stay tied to him after what he’d done.
We hadn’t spoken since I walked out on him. He hadn’t tried to reach out, but he did continue to send gifts to the house, which I would hand over to Mooney to keep or throw away. Even though we hadn’t talked, I still had Mayani and Megan following him to make sure he hadn’t moved on. That was going to guarantee his death sentence.
I know. I was being toxic, but oh well. He wasn’t giving that dick to anyone else as long as I was around.
I felt lost, and I knew I just needed my bestie.
She was the only one who could bring some clarity to my clouded world.
As the crowd began to appear from behind the sliding doors, a soft smile graced my lips seeing Paige walk out in her sundress, skin sun-kissed and glowing.
When she saw me, she smiled wider and hurried over to me. “Sissyyyy! I missed you so much!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me.
I hugged her back tightly as the bitch-ass tears surfaced. I was tired of fucking crying. This shit was insane. She pulled away from me. Her smile began to fade, and the look of confusion replaced it. She pulled the shades from my face.
“Oh, Arie…” She pulled me back into her arms, and my cries became audible. I’m sure I looked like hell. She let me cry on her shoulder for a good thirty seconds before she released me.“Come on. You can tell me what’s wrong on the way to my house.”
She grabbed her luggage and opened the passenger door for me to climb inside. After putting her luggage in the back, she got inside the car and drove off. We arrived at her house forty minutes later as I lay across her bed, watching her unpack. I didn’t want to talk in the car, so I waited until we got to her place to tell her all the shit that went down over the last two weeks she’d been gone. So many emotions crossed her face once I finished my saga that I knew she felt the same way I did.
“Shit, Arie. Like… I totally get why you’re conflicted, but what is your heart telling you?”
“I ain’t listening to my heart right now. That motherfucka betrayed me too.”
She giggled. “Well, your heart has its own mind. You can’t control it when it knows what it wants.”
