Page 30 of Heart of a Savage
Paige sat next to me, wrapping her arms around me and kissing my cheek. “We’re getting older, Arie. I know I’ve done some things that would have my parents rolling over in their graves, but I know the one thing they have always wanted for me: love, marriage, and children, and of course, to get an education and have a career.
“I know it’s going to feel foreign as fuck not having you by my side, but this isn’t the end. I’m hoping and praying that you find love, too, sis.”
I scoffed. “Yeah the fuck right. I’ll leave that to you. But you’re right… I’m being a brat because I don’t want you to go. It’s not going to be the same without you here.”
My mom chimed in, “Amour, I need you to stop being hurt about your father. I want grandchildren. I’m not saying go out and get pregnant right away, but open your heart to the possibility.”
“How is me being hurt about daddy stopping me from having children?”
“Because you’re hurt about him going to jail, and you’re hurt about him not wanting us to visit him anymore. Don’t allow that pain to transform into more bricks to add to your already tall cement wall. You keep blocking your heart from receiving the love you deserve.”
“I actually have kids already, Mommy. I don’t need anymore.”
Paige guffawed. “Girl, those damn Rottweilers do not count! And Mooney takes care of them more than you do!”
“Like hell they don’t! I have to feed, clothe, and take them to the doctor just like I would a real baby. Mooney only feeds them when I can’t. That negro can’t even be a housekeeper right.”
“Amour, please. Let’s get back out here so we can eat. Shantè and I have tickets to go see Maxwell tonight, so I’d like to get myself ready for my new man.” My mom beamed with delight.
I frowned. “What new man?”
“Maxwell! Didn’t you just hear me?”
I laughed. “Whew! I thought you were about to say someone else. Thank God!”
“Excuse me, but if I find me alittle friendat the concert, you better believe I’m going to let him court me.”
“Mommy! You’re married.”
“Working on a divorce, actually. If my husband doesn’t want me anymore, then fine! I’m not about to sit around dwelling on the whys. I love him, but I love me more. Now, let’s go.” She breezed out of the patio doors as Paige and I looked at each other.
Paige finally shrugged. “Mama gotta have a life too, Arie.”
“Shut yo’drunk in loveass up!” I rolled my eyes as Paige laughed and followed me back outside so we could finally start the brunch.
Five Days Later…
“Go ’head, baby boy. Daily affirmations, let’s hear them.”
MJ stood tall with his head up while I fixed his tie. “I am smart. I am strong. I am grateful. I am humble. I can do all things through God who strengthens me. I am blessed. I am happy. I am more than a conqueror, and I have the heart of a lion. My name means leader, so I lead those who will follow in a positive way. I follow no one but God. I am fearless in the face of fear, and I protect and provide for those I love. My family comes after God, and I will remain loyal to those who are loyal to me.”
“And?”
“And those who aren’t loyal and don’t love me… fuck ’em.”
“My man.” I held out my fist as he dapped me and smiled.
“You need to stop telling him to cuss, Messiah. That’s not cute,” Jalea fussed, walking into his room with a basket of his laundry.
“It ain’t meant to be cute,” I told her. “A’ight, you all set, youngin’. Go down and eat your breakfast. I’m taking you to school today.”
“For real?” he asked, excited.
My son loved it when I dropped him off at school instead of him riding the school bus. He said he liked to prove the little snooty white kids wrong when I pulled up in my fancy cars.
“Yeah, man. I ain’t going in today or this weekend. Ya Uncle Harvey is in town and needs me for the weekend.”
“Cool! Can we take your Porsche truck?”
