Page 26 of Heart of a Savage
“I’ve been calling you all morning.”
“For what?” I asked, reloading my clip.
“I had some news to share with you last night, but you were in your feelings too much to be able to receive it.”
“You’re acting like I don’t have the right to be in my feelings, P. You know Lorenzo is the only man who’s near and dear to me. What possible reason does he have not to want to see us? If we don’t have a problem with it, then why does he?”
“Uncle Lamont told you why. And I’m almostpositivethat when you went to see Papa Lo the other day, he told you why too.”
“His reasoning is bullshit. My own father disowning his wife and daughters is crazy work.”
“Arie, please stop. I love you, but you’re really blowing this out of proportion. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want your family to continue to drive upstate every month to see youfor an hour? It’s been ten years of this. Do you think he wants to keep seeing us and Mama ’Brina for a short period of time, every damn month for five more years?”
“What’s your news, sis?” I asked, dismissing what she was saying. I didn’t care what his reasoning was or about her trying to make me see the logic.
She chuckled, then picked up the .45 on the table. “I’m getting married.” She began shooting the target next to mine. I stared at her, trying to understand what I just heard. Once she was done, I removed my earmuffs and took the gun from her.
“Say that again for me.”
She smiled. “I’m getting married.”
I frowned. “What do you mean? To who?”
“His name is Harvey, and he lives in South Carolina. I’d been meaning to tell you, but we’ve been on missions and hadn’t really had the time to sit down and kick it for real.” My eyes never left her as I processed what she just told me.
When did she start dating? Hell, when did she take anyone seriously enough to marry them? I was in a state of confusion as she began fiddling with the big-ass rock on her finger.
“P… You have to explain this to me. Since when did you date someone long enough to marry them?”
“I’ve known Harvey for over a year, sis. We would fly back and forth to see each other every other month. I love him.”
“What does he do? Does he know whatyoudo?”
“He’s a BOS.”
“What the hell is that?”
She chuckled. “A business operation specialist. And yes, he knows exactly what I do.”
“And you trust him?”
“I trust him about as much as I trust you. He’s a great guy, and I love him. He allows me to be me, and I do the same. He’s not trying to change me, and I love that about him.”
“Why are you just now telling me about him?”
“Because, Arie… I know you. Not saying you hate men, but you only use them for one thing. I couldn’t risk you telling me that I was making a mistake if I told you I loved him too soon. I want love and want to be loved. I want a family.”
“You have family.”
“My own family, sis. Flesh of my flesh.”
I turned and took a seat on the bench behind me. I wouldn’t even pretend that I understood where she was coming from. It’s been fifteen years since the demise of her blood relatives. There had been many nights when she’d wake up out of her sleep, crying audibly because she missed them. The grief of losing them didn’t stop; she’d just learned to mask it.
Her happiness was important to me. It didn’t matter how salty I was with her at the moment; I knew I couldn’t fill that void of longing for something you couldn’t have. If marrying this guy brought her peace, then I was here for it.
She came and sat next to me, taking my hand. “I love you, Arie. You, Papa Lo, and Mama ’Brina are the only people in my life that I’d sacrifice anything for... but this, I have to do this for me.”
“I get it, P. But a whole year of hiding him from me is crazy work. I know I don’t give a fuck about these niggas, but I would never project my shit onto you. You’re my sister, and we tell each other everything. I’m low-key offended that you’d think of me that way.”
