Page 95 of Iris
I’m aware I’m going to go into heat soon, the soreness and surging sex awakenings, the way that I came when Killian used his fingers on me. I don’t think he’s only potent when a girl’s in heat, but it was the burst of relief that hit, along with all the ecstasy. That gave it away.
But I can handle it. There are drugs, and I know two dangerous men who can help me get them. I don’t want that wild urge to fuck any Alpha who touches me. I want to choose. So I’ll take the drugs, thank you.
The smell of cleaning products, of the flowers? It might be a little more, but it’s also very real. Mom took her anxiety out on the house.
“Mom, I…” I’m not sure what to say. “I’m…I’m going to see the Monarch.”
Rue gasps and lifts her head. “Hottest of hot tea!”
“I got Stephan and Violet to organize it. I don’t…I don’t want to shame our family, add to anything.”
Mom nods, and swallows. “Rue, go outside and play.”
“I’m fifteen, Mom.”
“Well, go be moody outside, then.” The snap in Mom’s voice is enough to send my sister leaping up and racing outside. Then Mom lets out a long sigh. “Sit, Iris.”
I glance at my phone. I’ve got time to get there. I want to be early and Mari’s waiting for me. So I sit.
“I’d ask to come along and would override you if it wasn’t taken the wrong way, me and you going to see the Councilwoman. I wish…”
“I could be more like Violet?”
But Mom laughs. “That’d never happen. You two are ying and yang and I don’t want you doing what Heath did, giving everything up. You do want this, don’t you? To find a mate?”
The word no presses hard, but I push it down and set my phone on the table as I lean in. “Mom,” I say, “I want to help out, too. I want to find the right man for me. The right Alpha. And I’ll do my best to find one this Season. If they’ll have me.”
“Don’t be so spiky, Iris.” But then she smiles. “Or maybe do. Be you and find him. He’s out there, I just know it. We’re still early in the Season and if you seek the Monarch out, she’ll take it well, I’m sure.”
“I’ll apologize?—”
“Your brother didn’t tell me what happened, but he doesn’t have to. I can read and listen, and people are going to try and twist it, make you look bad. We’ll stand by you, no matter what. And Iris?”
There’s a lump in my throat and it’s huge. “Yes, Mom?”
“If you’re going to see her to apologize for two uncouth and nasty Alphas whose parents should be hanging their heads in shame, don’t.”
A wave of love hits me, so hard.
Mom might never understand me in many ways. She loves society, and for her, the balls were magical, like her Season where she met my father and they fell in love.
But she believes me and stands by me, and I can see just how lucky I am.
I wish it was enough. I really do.
But it’s not.
For a moment, I waver in my resolve to bring up the cause with the Monarch, anyway.
Mari appears. “Iris?”
“Be good, girls,” Mom says, “and come right home. Reece will accompany you.”
We leave and Mari’s quick flash of a bright smile isn’t lost on me. Rue’s in the front garden, hovering.
“Can I come?”
“No,” I hiss, “this isn’t a posse.”
