Page 42 of Dimitri
Allison toyed with the rim of her glass and wondered if she should share everything.
"He says he's in love with me."
She had to stop herself from fidgeting as her friend stared at her in silence.
"Did you hear what I just said?"
"I'm waiting for the part where you tell me what the hell is wrong with you."
Putting her glass down, she linked her fingers. "I told him to take it back."
"Oh well, I suppose that's the end of it then."
Leaning forward, Jessica gave her a gimlet stare. "Are you insane? That gorgeous man made a declaration of love, and you told him to take it back? What are you? Ten?"
Allison hunched her shoulders defensively. "You know why I cannot be in love with anyone."
"You know what honey?" The disgust was rife in Jessica's voice. "You're a coward."
"What?"
"You've been clinging to the memory of Michael for years all because you're too damned set in your ways to start living again. What the hell are you doing? Is that job going to keep you warm when you go to bed? And do you think a man like Dimitri Petrov who can have any damn woman he wants, will wait around while you do what? Close yourself off and give him a little piece of you." She blew out a disgusted breath. "Honey, you're my best friend and I love you dearly, but you're an idiot."
For a full two minutes, Allison did not respond. Each word had been like a sledgehammer striking her with vicious precision.
"I'm scared." She admitted, her voice small and uncertain. "I've lost so many people and just the thought of opening myself to someone else scares the crap out of me." She closed her eyes briefly. "When he said that to me, I panicked and wanted to run and hide."
Leaning across the table, Jessica took her hand. "How do you feel about him?"
She thought seriously about lying and decided against it immediately. "I loved Michael." Her lips trembled and she pressed them together. "He was such a sweet man, kind and patient and he doted on me. He was good, genuinely good. There was no other side to him. He was just as you saw him." She blinked back tears. "He wanted so much to marry me and start a family, and I kept putting him off." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I didn't love him enough to make that kind of commitment." Her fingers gripped Jessica's. "That's what has been bothering me over the years." She shook her head. "Meeting Dimitri, the very first meeting had sparks flying. They consumed me. When he touched me I knew that what I felt for Michael was so tame compared to what I experienced with Dimitri that I wanted to cry at the unfairness of it. I just met him Jess."
She gazed at a couple who had just walked into the crowded restaurant. The man had his arm wrapped around the woman's waist and was whispering something in her ear. Whatever he said to her had her blushing and snuggling against him. She wanted something like that. For a long time, she thought she was okay, that she was content with her life as it was.
"Oh God, I'm in love with him."
Her friend hid her smile with great difficulty. It was satisfying to see the usually sturdy and extremely confident Allison Trent, accomplished beauty, and kick ass counselor, so unsettled. The woman looked like she was about to fall to pieces.
"That's usually a good thing."
Allison sent her a dark look. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Tremendously." Jessica laughed in delight at the shattered expression on her face. "Honey, I'm so happy for you."
"That's the opposite of what I'm feeling." She pressed an unsteady hand to her chest. "He hasn't called."
"What's stopping you from calling him?"
"I can't."
"Don't make me hurt you. The guy spilled his heart to you, and you stomped on it. It's only fair that you get to make the next move."
"He might have changed his mind." She grumbled. "This is ridiculous. There's no way we will work. He's night and I'm well, day. He lives in Russia and I'm certainly not going to move halfway across the world."
Picking up her water, she took a long swallow.
"How about starting small." Jessica suggested. "Talk to the guy. Cook him dinner, have wild monkey sex and stay in bed for an entire day."
"Oh God." She took another sip of the water to try and quench her parched throat. "This cannot be happening to me."
