Page 38 of Dimitri
He simply stared at her in that involved way of his and set her heart on fire.
"I'll wait."
"No." She shook her head with enough force to send the coils dancing. "I would like you to leave and never come back."
"No," he said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere. You will..."
"I'm in love with someone else!" She screamed. Hating herself for using a man she had once loved, she blinked at the tears. "His name was Michael, and he was sweet, kind, and gentle. I loved him. We were supposed to get married, and he just happened to stop into a convenience store and interrupted a robbery." Her breath hitched. "They shot him. A drug addict just turned the gun and shot him in the chest. I lost him and I promised myself that I would never love again. I won't."
The silence that followed was very profound. Dimitri felt as if his heart was breaking into pieces. He could not compete with a ghost; he would not win. But he knew she felt something for him. He understood her fear of course. Hadn't he shied away from loving someone so deeply it goes through to your very soul? And it had been because of losing his mother. The pain had cut deep, slicing through him like a two-edged sword.
But he had fallen in love and was damned if he was going to turn away from that love.
"I'm sorry you went through something like that." His voice was soothing and instead of pulling away and leaving, he was gathering her closer to him. She could not bear to be this close to him. He was going to find out that she was a fraud. That she was lying about not caring enough.
"Don't, please."
Tilting her chin up, he wiped at the tears with his thumbs. "Let me make it better. Let me heal the wounds and make things better for you." She was helpless to resist when he lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was gentle, a soft touch, a mingling of breaths. He brushed his lips over hers, back and forth, until she was becoming dizzy with desire and need. Everything was fading from her mind. And she could only feel. One hand lifted to cup the back of her neck as he eased her down.
His body covered hers and she whimpered, a sigh escaping her. He nibbled and she murmured his name. The thought sank in and took root that it was his name on her lips, not the man from her past. But his. Tugging her bottom lip down, he soothed the sting of his teeth with his tongue and felt when she shivered. Her slender curves fitted his body to perfection. He would make her realize they belonged together. If her intention was for him to disappear from her life, she was in for a disappointment. He was staying. He had found someone... the only woman he would ever love... the only one he wanted to share his life with, and he was staying.
She tried to look away, but his unwavering gaze held her captive, exposing every vulnerability she so desperately tried to conceal. The truth warred within her, emotions tangled and raw. Still, some part of her... small, stubborn... ached for the hope he offered, even as fear gnawed at her resolve.
"I love you," His rough whisper slid over her cheek. He murmured something else in Russian before trailing kisses along her jawline to the seams of her lips. He nibbled her lips open, taking the soft flesh between his teeth. Her body moved restlessly, the force of her emotions clanging throughout her body. There was no mistaking the passion, the heat of it seared her flesh.
He wanted his love, the warmth of it to sear her body and melt her bones. He gave and she took her hands wrapping around his neck as she ached for more. She wanted him like she had never wanted anyone before. Fear clogged her throat, bringing tears to her eyes. It burned behind her eyelids, sliding down first one cheek and then the other. His lips moved upwards to gently sip, the gesture clogging her throat. His lips trailed down to meet hers and she opened. He tasted her sigh, her desire and met it with his.
He was taking his time, deliberately stamping his body on hers, giving of himself freely. He wanted there to be no doubts about his feelings for her.
He was going to show her. If it took days or weeks, he would show her that they belonged together.
Her tongue met his, body arching, heart frantically responding to the seduction. Her eyes went wide when he filled her. He went still, lifting his mouth from hers. His hands tugged hers from around his neck, so that he could interlock his fingers withhers. They stayed that way for what seemed like hours... bodies joined, flesh against flesh, heart beating against heart. His eyes met hers and held the poignancy of his feelings transparent on his handsome face.
The light of the slender moon streamed through the drapes, throwing shadows inside the room. The air was thick with tension, their stillness taking on a significance that wasn't lost on her.
She did not dare move. It was as if she was suspended in time. As if this moment the universe was suspended to accommodate them. His strong lean body covered hers and she felt as if she would die if he removed himself from her. The passion frightened her, and she wanted to flee from it. It was too much, so achingly strong, she wanted to hide her face and deny what was happening. Her lips parted, but nothing came out. Understanding that words were not necessary, he bent to her, the kiss slow and evocative.
It was only then that he moved. His thrusts were slow and lazy, his body sliding into hers, going deeper until he was lodged there. It was a place he never wanted to leave. He felt her breath quickening, swallowed the helpless moans deep inside his throat. When she erupted, he felt her silky warmth gliding over him. His body bucked and shuddered as he tried valiantly to hold back his own climax.
He lost the battle. With a tortured groan, he emptied himself, plunging into her until he was drained. Even then, he did not stop kissing her. Feeling weak and completely shattered, she wrapped her arms around him and surrendered.
*****
She pretended to sleep. Even after he gathered her against him and she was sprawled across his damp chest, she evened her breathing and pretended to be asleep. She knew it was the coward's way out, but she did not want to talk.
She was vulnerable and weepy. The tears were still on her cheeks, her eyes still wet. Within minutes, she heard the sound of his even breathing, indicating that he had gone under. She dare not stir in case she woke him up and she needed this space and time to think.
If he were not holding onto her so tight, she would have climbed out of bed and gone into one of the other bedrooms to be alone. He was in love with her. And she suspected she was in love with him too.
But love, she reminded herself, was not supposed to feel so overwhelming and raw. She wondered if this intensity would be the end of her, or if it would only draw them closer together. Lying there, listening to his heartbeat steady and strong beneathher ear, she felt her guard slipping bit by bit, her heart daring to hope for something real and lasting between them.
She had loved Michael, and she was desperately trying to convince herself of that. Yes, she had loved him. She was going to marry him, wasn't she? He had asked several times, and she put him off, insisting on them waiting. But what she had felt for Michael had been a gentle kind of yearning, a contentment for who he was. It had been nothing like this... this powerful intensity that threatened to overwhelm. Maybe it was just a violent attraction that would fade over time.
She had told him she did not want his love, and she meant it. But lying here in his arms, feeling the steel of his arms around her, she felt safe. For the first time in a very long time, she wanted to be with someone. She was not going to complicate it with feelings of love. She was going to make him understand that if he wanted to be with her, he was going to refrain from telling her that he loved her.
They enjoyed each other's company and that should be enough. It had to be enough. She did not want anything more than this. Then why did she feel this gnawing in the pit of her stomach? Why was she aching for much more? She gave a slight jolt as the realization hit her. They had been making love without thinking of the consequences. She had not even thought about it. A frown touched her brow as she tried to think back when the last time was she had her periods. They were heading into February, and she had been so busy with work and everything else, she had not marked her calendar.
With Michael, she had been so careful. But with Dimitri, she felt as if she was jumping off the cliff with no safety harness. Closing her eyes, she willed the problems away and drifted off.
