Page 10 of Chosen, Eternally
“James, c’mon.” Sobbing, I let my forehead drop on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his waist.
He rubs his hands up and down my back in soothing motions.
It’s heaven and hell.
“Cate, I love you,” he whispers in my ear. “So much. I’ve loved you for over ten years—in the most consuming, deliciously torturous way. Since the very moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I was a goner. I have loved you, Cate, in a way that feels impossible for anyone else to know that kind of love. So I don’t think anything will ever change that. Even if I do become a vampire, I could never lose my soul, Cate. Because you’ve owned it since the very second you said ‘hello,’ and I know you’d never let anything happen to it.” James pulls away and tips my face back to look me in the eye before he continues: “But if I do lose it… If youdoneed to kill me. I forgive you. In fact—” He pauses to take a deep breath. “In fact, I give youpermissionto kill me. If I’m a danger to you and the rest of the world, then… then you should stop me.”
“Don’t say that,” I mumble, pressing my face into his chest as I struggle to breathe through the crying. “Don’t.”
He sighs but doesn’t argue.
After a minute, he pulls us down to my couch and holds me for several minutes as the exhaustion of the last few hours catches up with me.
“You’re handling this all a bit too well,” I whisper. “How are you not freaking out? I mean, you were held captive for over a year. You haven’t spoken to anyone in just as long. And now you might be a vampire and you’re… just okay with it?”
He sighs. “Obviously not. I’m not okay, and I know there are many things I’m going to have to deal with. But right now, I just want to enjoy this time together. Especially if it’s limited. I’ve been dreaming about reuniting with you every second of every day, so I’m not going to blow this opportunity on a mental breakdown.”
I nod and exhale, inhaling the scent of him. It’s not quite what I remember—a year of captivity will do that to someone—but it’s still there beneath the musty smell of wherever the hell her was kept alive.
“Your food is getting cold,” I whisper once I’ve settled a bit.
James laughs once. “I don’t give a fuck. Even if it’s congealed, it’ll still be the best thing I’ve had in over a year. And this—being here for you and us—is more important than anything.”
I fist my hands in his shirt—the same one he was wearing the last time I saw him. And it’s right then that I realize something: “You probably haven’t had a bath in alooongtime.” I pull away to meet his red face.
“I… no. I’m sorry if I stink and—” James begins to push me away, but I hold on.
“No, don’t. I don’t mind. Didn’t even notice it, actually. I’m so happy to see you that—” I shake my head. “What I’m saying is… Do you want to shower? I can do your laundry, too. So you can change into clean clothes.”
He laughs at my change in subject. “Really?”
“Really.”
James spends over half an hour in the bathroom, and I don’t blame him. If I were him and I’d spent the last year without so much as a sink, I’d be in there for over a full day (we all know my love of baths).
I’m thankful for the respite, for the opportunity to think about what comes next—even if I’m still drawing a blank—but part of me wished he’d said no to it. Part of me wished he’d said he wanted to spend every second we had together before it all comes to an end. Part of me wished he’d?—
But then all of that regret disappears in an instant when he walks out of my bathroom in a cloud of steam like a fucking dream, droplets of water over his muscular chest, a towel that’s way too small for him struggling to stay wrapped around his hips, the beginning of his v-line cut peeking out like a goddamn Adonis.
I could lick him dry.
“I… Your clothes aren’t ready yet,” I say, my voice sounding like it’s miles away.
“That’s okay.” He grins.
And because I’m an idiot, all I can think to say is “Did you keep up a workout routine while you were in captivity or something?”
He sputters a laugh. “What?”
I shake my head, wanting to die. “Nothing.”
James looks down at himself, seemingly realizing for the first time that he’s basically naked. “Oh, you mean this?”
And thendrops.
His.
Towel.
