Page 1 of Chosen, Eternally
The full moon shines bright above James and I where we sit on Proctor’s Ledge, making it easy to see every expression on his face when I tell him the news. The location is a bit on the nose for the occasion, but it’s hard to live in Salem and not be surrounded by witch culture, no matter who you are.
“Whoa, hold on, Cate. What do you mean you just got this job opportunity you can’t tell me about?” he asks, his blond hair nearly white under the stars. He runs his fingers through it, hands that I’ve imagined so many times over my own body. In the backlight, the sharp lines of his jaw and nose are more pronounced, and the corded muscles of his broad shoulders and arms, even hidden beneath his coat, stand out. I’ve been struggling with my feelings and attraction for him for a long while, now, and tonight isn’t helping. All this setting does is highlight even more just how close to a Greek god James really is—and how far away from one I am. At average height, average body weight, unremarkable face, and ordinary life, anyone who sees us together would stop and wonder what the hell a man like that would be doing with someone like me. And I wouldn’t be offended, since I often wonder the same thing.
I twirl a strand of brown hair around my finger. “I know the plan was for us both to quit our current jobs so we can go away together, but… This other thing, it’s kind of a big deal.”
James is my best friend, and while I’d love to tell him everything, I’ve been instructed it’s the last thing I can do, especially after the sudden way in which the last Protector, Freya, died. The safety of Salem depends on it.
“Does that mean you can’t come with me next month? I mean, we’ve been planning this trip to Asia since freshman year of college, Cate. It’s taken nearly a decade to save up all this cash for it, and now you want to cancel?”
“You can still go,” I tell him, though I can’t hide the pain in my voice. It would break my heart to have him go without me.
James scoffs. “Go without you? The whole point was to gowithyou.”
Warmth spreads through me, heating my cheeks despite the cold October night. It isn’t even winter yet, but the air is dry and crisp, the promise of an early-season snowfall in the near future.
“I’m sorry, James,” I say, my voice cracking. The truth is, I don’t want to take on the role as Chosen Protector. I don’t want to be Salem’s only hope against the vampires.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s every little witch’s dream to be picked to take on this massive role. Who wouldn’t want the extra powers the Chosen One receives after the initiation ritual? But the thing is, with the acceptance of these powers comes responsibility, a heavy burden, and a life of near-certain loneliness. Not exactly the qualities you’d see on a job description and make you go, “Yay! I’m totally going to apply!”
And that’s the thing, obviously. I didn’tapplyto it. If I had, I’d be called the Selected-From-a-Broad-Pool-of-CandidatesOne. You can’t just submit an application to be considered.
“It was always written, my dear Hecate,”I can almost hear my aunt Cybil’s voice.“You were always meant for greatness,and everyone knows it. Still, you can accept or reject it. Though no one in the history of the Society of Witches of Salem ever has.”
But no pressure, right?
So I told the Council Members of The Society that I’d think about it, that there was a chance they’d have to call in an alternate, so to speak.
They weren’t big fans of my response.
James sighs, his face the picture of heartbreak.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him again.
“It’s okay.” But it isn’t. He looks off into the night, staring up at the full moon without another word. When the silence grows too heavy to bear, he speaks before I can make a run for it: “I wanted this trip to happen. Desperately.”
“Me too, but you can still go. You can ask someone else to go with you, if you don’t want to go alone. I promise I won’t be offended if you?—”
“No, Cate, you don’t get it.” He turns to look at me, a glimmer of desperation and determination in his eyes. “Fuck, I was going to do this on the trip but… I’m done waiting. Done making excuses.”
“What are you talking about?”
James takes a deep breath, steeling himself, before taking my gloved hands in his. “Cate, I… I love you. Deeply.Desperately. And given how long I’ve been in love with you, I gather I plan to love youeternally. And I know this might be coming out of left field—I’m sorry for that. I guess that’s my fault for never being clear about how I feel—though I don’t know how I managed to get away with loving you this much without you ever noticing—but I can’t keep going like this. It’s been ten years and… I know we’ve both dated other people since then, but these women… they’ve never been you. I love you, Cate. I loveyou. Iloveyou.”
“I…” am speechless. Driven mute. Because what does he meanhe loves me?
“I know I’m an asshole for doing this now. And I promise I’m not doing it to manipulate you into going on this trip. If you need to stay here in Salem, then I’ll stay, too. Happily, actually, so long as we’re together. And if you don’t feel the same way, then…” He shivers, as if the idea that his feelings aren’t returned cause more terror in him than any of the evils he doesn’t know exist in this very town. “I’ll leave. I’ll go to Asia on my own and hope to get over you there, and just… I don’t know. I’m not sure what I’ll do. I was…” He clears his throat and scratches the top of his head. His bare hands are red from the cold, and all I want to do is hold them in mine to warm them up, to protect him.
“Truthfully,” he goes on, “I was kind of hoping to have a romantic setting, like the beaches of Bali, for example, to help me out. To tell you how I feel after weeks of bonding over once-in-a-lifetime experiences.” James laughs ruefully while I stare at him, mouth agape. “Now that I think about it, it sounds terribly idiotic and?—”
I have never seen James this discombobulated. Normally, he’s self-assured, confident in a way that reads safety and security rather than arrogance or smugness. He’s heart and brains and looks and doesn’t know it. Or if he does, he’s never once let it get to his head. Not since I’ve met him, anyway.
“You… loveme?” I ask for clarification, because I have spent ten years thinking this would never happen for us, and there’s no way I can just take his words at face value. I mean, how is this possible?
“Yes,” he breathes out, his eyes intense. They lock with mine, and I pray to the gods we stay like this forever. United. Connected. Never apart.
“I love you, too,” I manage to say.
James sucks in a breath, those same big blues widening in shock. “Really?” His voice is barely audible, even though it’s well past two A.M., and most of the town has been asleep for hours.
