Page 45 of Reply All
I press my cheek against his soft hair, relish in the feeling of his hard, yet soft arms around me. Close my eyes so I can let the way I feel burn into my brain. Pray I never forget it. Because oh my god, this feels so good.
“How do you feel?” he asks into my neck.
“Fine.”More like joyous. Elated. Safe.But I don’t want to go and wax poetic over how last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life if we’re not on the same page. Call me a coward—I’ll admit it—but I don’t feel strong enough to be able to take the initiative here. Not after what happened at work. Not after having been clobbered in such a way by something I was beginning to care so much about, left feeling betrayed and hurt. If I felt so bad over something that happened atwork, I don’t know whether I’d be able to come back from his rejection. After all, just because we had sex, doesn’t mean he has feelings for me. Will said it himself: he hasn’t dated in a while, but he isn’t celibate. He clearly doesn’t believe sex and feelings are mutually exclusive. For him, this could’ve just been two good friends scratching an itch. A casual hookup. Maybe even a pity fuck after the horrible day I had.
God, my stomach drops at that last one.Please don’t let it have been a pity fuck. Anything else but that.
Will pulls away, his brow furrowed in disappointment. “Fine? That’s it? I thought it was…”
“I didn’t meanfineas in, like, it didn’t mean much or anything or that it was bad,” I rush to correct him. Sure, I don’t want him to know just how into him I am, but I guess I also don’t want Will to feel like it didn’t matter. “I feel good.Great, even. Just a little tired from the… er, overexertion.”
His grin is lopsided and sly. “Yeah, I definitely feel like I did over a hundred sit-ups last night. And I regularly work out.”
I snort and cover my face in my hands, trying not to laugh. When I settle, I feel his hands wrap around my wrist, so I let him pull them away gently.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. Especially in the morning. Especially after I’ve fucked you.”
The fire is back and it’s spread all over my body. From my now-crimson cheeks, to the instant growing ache between my legs, and the way his words make my toes curl.
His thumb grazes my cheeks as he stares at him. “Freckles,” he whispers. But he says nothing else. My cheeks heat even more.
With every ounce of strength I have left in my body, I fight the urge to let myself fully go. It’s such a good alternative to what needs to be done—talking about last night—that I almost cave. But I know that if we fail to define what’s happening here, it could end badly for us both.
“So…”
“So.” He grins.
“We had sex last night.”
“Ooh.That’s what that was?”
“Will.”
“Bridge.”
“C’mon.”
He sighs, his smile wistful. “We had sex. And I thought it was amazing. Didn’t you?”
I have to bite down on my lip to stop from smiling like a goof. “It was… bananas.”
He takes my hands to his lips, kisses them. “I love it when you say that.”
This makes me laugh. “You like it when I say that something is bananas?”
“Yeah. It’s cute. You’re cute.”
“And you’re cheesin’.”
“Only a little.” But he kisses my hands again. “So besides it being bananas, as you say. What did you think?”
“Performance wise? You did great. Solid nine out of ten would recommend. Though I gotta say it’s not really attractive behavior when someone asks for a review.”
“Bridge, you know that’s not what I meant. I meant— Wait,nineout of ten? Why anine?” He squeezes his eyes shut. “No, you know what? I’m not gonna let you distract me. I know exactly what you’re doing.”
Shit.
I hate this. I hate that he’s putting me in the position to make the call. For the first time since meeting him, I feel vulnerable and exposed with Will in abadway. This is far from the comfortable yet open situations which we put ourselves in when sharing stuff we wouldn’t otherwise share with anyone else. “You first,” I tell him.
