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I’m silent for a moment, shell-shocked. “Will?” He’s here?
“Yeah, I…” He clears his throat. “Listen, you don’t even have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but I can bring your food up to you if you’d like. I can leave it just outside your door. I also have something I wanted to give you, if that’s okay.”
“I—”
“Fantastic! Here you go my friend. I’m off.”
Silence. I still haven’t buzzed him up. “Did the delivery guy just…?”
“Leave? Yeah.” He sighs. “Listen, if seeing me is too much, just buzz me in so I can at least leave your food in the lobby. I don’t want to leave it on the stoop and have some random stranger take it while you’re on your way downstairs. At least if it’s inside you have a better chance of it surviving theft.”
“In this building? Not a chance,” I say with a laugh. And it feels so good to laugh, even if it’s not a full-bellied one.
Will also laughs on the other end of the intercom, and it sounds like heaven.
“So, what do you want to do then?” he asks. “I promise you I won’t pressure you into anything.”
I press my forehead against the door frame by the intercom, thinking. I could just do what he says. Buzz him in, ask him to just leave the food inside the building for me to pick up once he’s gone. Avoid seeing him altogether. Or I could embrace the fact that he’s here so we can… I don’t know. Talk? I’m not sure what the right move is here.
All I know is that I miss him, and if he’s here to say something, I want to hear what it is, regardless of whether or not I’msupposedto want to hear it or not. At the end of the day, my love for him didn’t just disappear into thin air. It’s still here, every day, in everything that reminds me of him and us. In every small moment we spent together I treasure, and every big gesture he ever made. From late nights spent talking well into the next morning, to teasing him about the way he ate his cereal—something I still don’t get to this day. From the way he loved my cat to the way he stood up for me every time he felt I was wronged.
I take a steeling breath and make my decision. “Come on up.”
WILL
In all honesty, he never expected her to agree to see him. He’s only here to drop off the present he had commissioned months ago with a final note where he apologizes once again and tells her goodbye.
But now that she’s willing to talk? There’s no way Will’s going to let that opportunity slip away. He has a second chance to make things right, and he’s going to try his best to do so.
If, after everything, she still asks him to leave, he’ll go without further argument.
After, he’ll go on as planned, loving her until the day he dies.
34
I DESERVE LOVE
For what seems like hours, I wait for Will to come up the stairs, back pressed against my front door. When I hear footsteps approaching from the hallway, I squeeze my eyes shut and press the palms of my hands to the frame. On the other side, I hear Will take a steadying, deep breath before knocking gently.
I take one as well.
My hand trembles as it wraps around the doorknob, heart racing and twisting as I pull the door open.
And there he is.
Will Jacobs in all his glory.
Handsome. So handsome.
Dark curls damp from the late spring showers. Chocolate brown eyes cautious, staring up at me through thick lashes. Kind and full of…something—something I don’t know whether I want to name, since I’m not quite sure whether I want it or not. Whether I’m ready to receive it.
Will puffs my name from his lungs, like he’s been trying to keep it in for the longest time. “Bridget.You look…”
I look down at myself, try to see what he’s seeing. But it’s just me. In my sweats.
“Like a slob?” I blush.
“Perfect. You look perfect. I love you in those sweats. It’s you.” There’s a slight ache in his voice that seems to match the one in my heart. A longing that drains every last bit of my energy at the end of the day.
