Page 3 of In For a Penny
Right?
“But it’s the way it has to be,” he continues.
Oh.
The wave of disappointment hits me so hard it almost knocks the breath out of me.
“This is going to be fantastic for both of us—you’ll see. You’re going to be amazing. School is going to be great. You’re going to be able to leave your bubble and comfort zone and see what the real world is actually like, away from the comfort of your family and social circle. You need to grow outside of this.
“I want you to experience everything that you can. It’s going to be so great for you. And then”—Austin smiles encouragingly—“once you’ve finished school and I see where I’m at with my MBA, we can see how to proceed.”
He still wants to end things. Temporarily, though. A few tears manage to escape from my eyes.
Oh no. Did I remember to wear waterproof mascara?
“Yeah,” I mumble out. “Yeah, no, I know,” I say unconvincingly. “It’s what’s best for us. For our relationship.”
“Exactly.” He smiles encouragingly and says, “Now, let’s look at that dessert menu.”
I guess he definitely wants this.
He never does let goof my hand after that. Once we finish our Crème brûlée and pay the check, he leads me out of the restaurant.
I let go of him and raise my hand in the air for a taxi.
“Stop. Wait—no, don’t go.” He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me from the edge of the sidewalk. Austin takes a deep breath. “Not yet please. I’m not ready.”
He holds me tight and looks down at me as we hear the squealing of old brakes behind me.
“Miss? You need cab?” I hear the heavily accented driver ask me, my eyes never leaving his.
I furrow my brow.
“Please,” he whispers. “Not yet.” He pulls me in closer, his eyes filled with that expression I’ve gotten to know so well.
I know that look. I know what it means.
His face is so close to mine I can see the gold specks in his blue eyes and can count the freckles on his nose.
I know I need to end the night now. I know I can’t bring him back home with me. But I catch another whiff of his aftershave and lose any ounce of self-control left in my body.
“O…kay,” I breathe.
I won’t sleep with him, though. I’ll just let him walk me home.
Must not sleep with him. Must not sleep with him. Inhale through mouth. Avoid sexy man scent.
“We won’t be needing a cab. Sorry,” Austin says quickly over my shoulder. He breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I’m not ready for this night to be over.”
We start walking, hand in hand, toward my apartment, but there’s no way he’s coming up. I need to be strong, and sleeping together would just tear me apart further.
I feel the heat of the last days of summer hit me as we reach the edge of Central Park. He stops to sit on a bench. We’re only a couple of blocks away from my apartment, and this night has to end eventually. He’s prolonging it as much as possible.
My heart aches.
I smile and pull out a cigarette. I’ve been smoking too much lately—a nasty habit.
God,I hate cigarettes.
