Page 114 of In For a Penny
Josh wraps an arm around my waist, and I feel my skin ignite, my cheeks flush. We walk out of the restaurant and into the cold January night. The wind bites at my skin, and I’m freezing my ass off, but I couldn’t care less. He’s holding me so close I never want him to let go.
We walk down the boardwalk a bit, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. When we reach the National Theatre, I tell Josh I need a break, so we take a seat in one of the benches in front of the building, looking out at the twinkling lights from the buildings across the Thames. I lean into him, breathing in his scent and committing it to memory.
Eventually, we grow quiet. I turn to say something but catch him looking at me, staring down at my lips with a soft smile. Josh brushes some hair away from my face and slowly leans down to kiss me, hesitating just before, giving me time to pull back if I want to. But I don’t. Not this time. Instead, I meet him the rest of the way, arms wrapping around his neck, heart beating so loud in my chest I’d be surprised if he couldn’t hear it.
I can’t breathe—in the best possible way.
It’s perfect. The perfect moment.
The kiss is Josh personified. It’s everything I love about him. It’s warm, comforting, and direct. It’s sweet, dependable, and passionate. It’s understanding, attentive, and loyal. Most of all, though, it’shot. It is need, and hunger, andwayoverdue.
His hands are in my hair, and I moan when he pulls a little. Adrenaline courses through my veins, and our breathing speeds. I claw at his coat, pulling him closer to my body by its collar. I bite his lip, pulling slightly, and he groans, turning the kiss a little desperate. I want to fucking climb him.
Josh pulls my legs onto his lap, swiveling me in my seat so that we’re at a more comfortable angle and position as we finally get to taste and hold each other the way we’ve been wanting to for quite some time, completely and utterly forgetting the fact that we’re in a public place.
I scooch even closer to Josh and thank God for the sexual chemistry. I thank God that our connection isn’t just emotional. I thank God for the sheer number of inappropriate thoughts running through my mind and all the things I feel like doing to him.
Must remember that we’re not in the privacy of our own homes.
All the shit we went through, the stupid arguments, the mistakes, the fights, the crying, the anxiety… After all the good and the bad, we’ve finally made it. It was all worth it. We’re here.
Holy shit, we’re here.
I’m still mentally working on separatingJosh the FriendfromJosh the Love Interest, but I know with certainty that Josh isitfor me. I felt it from the second his lips touched mine. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks and takes my breath away, but I don’t say anything. There’s no need to, because I’m pretty sure Josh feels it, too.
We spend the next hour taking turns talking and making out like teenagers. At a certain point, my teeth start to chatter, and Josh insists on taking me home. “Or I can just put you in an Uber,” he says cautiously. “I don’t want you to think that I’m expecting something.”
I clear my throat. “No, it’s fine. I know you know, um, where I’m at with…that,” I say, feeling my entire body blush at this point. “I just mean we can keep talking there, if you’d like,” I offer.
Josh smiles. “I’d like that.” It doesn’t seem to be a problem to either of us that it’s three a.m. “I’ll get a car for us.”
I feel something electric run through my entire body at the sound of that “us.”
I doze off on the way home, snuggled into his side with his arm wrapped around me. He wakes me with a kiss on the top of my head and says, “We’re home.” I’m too tired to think too much about the fact that I’m inviting him over this late at night and what it means. It’s obvious I won’t be able to stay up much longer. Should I kick him out? I want him to spend the night, but is that the right thing to do now?
“You sure you want me to come up?” he asks as he helps me out of the car. I nod, and he helps me limp all the way to my apartment. Once inside, we head straight for my bedroom, and I shut the door behind us. I shrug out of my coat and toss it on the foot of my bed, Josh doesn’t move an inch from where he stands. He looks unsure and nervous, wiping his hands unconsciously on the front of his pants. “So…” he says awkwardly. “I—I think I’m gonna go,” he says, tossing a thumb over his shoulder.
“Josh.” I reach out a hand. “Stay.” I look into his green eyes, taking his hand. I kick off my shoes and walk backwards, pulling him slowly onto my bed. He’s still wearing his coat when he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. “I’m tired, but I’d like it if you stayed the night.” I breathe him in and close my eyes.
This is heaven.
“Yes,” he says. “Of course I’ll stay,” he murmurs. Josh’s arms tighten around me, and we proceed to fall asleep fully dressed, over the covers, in each other’s arms.
I wake the next morningwith a throbbing ankle and Josh’s coat draped over me like a blanket. The sight of Josh sleeping next to me fills my chest with so much emotion it makes it hard to breathe. I look at him for a second, taking him in. He’s still fully dressed, except for his shoes and coat, which he must have removed in the middle of the night. His dirty-blond hair is a mess, and I smile at his bedhead. He looks so peaceful in the early morning light.
I can’t keep the smile off my face. I feel like a creep watching him while he sleeps, but I can’t help it. Before I can stop myself, I reach out and brush Josh’s hair out of his face. He takes a deep breath and slowly opens his eyes.
“Hey,” he says in a low, gravelly voice, stretching a little.
“Morning,” I say, and he smiles. Josh reaches out and pulls me to him, his coat sliding off my body, turning me in his arms, his front to my back, our bodies molding perfectly together. The movement feels so familiar, as if we’ve done it a million times, as if we’ll do it a million more, that it leaves me shaken.
He’s it.
He nuzzles my neck. “Mmmm, you smell nice,” he says in his groggy, sexy voice. I turn my face to look at him, and he kisses me lightly on the lips.
He’s everything.
My heart starts to race, and my breathing speeds. I turn to wrap my arms around his neck, and he holds me tighter still, one hand around my waist and another in my hair. He breathes me in. I start kissing up his neck all the way to the corner of his jaw. Josh groans, and I feel him hard against my stomach.
