Page 112 of In For a Penny
I’m so scared of losing him for good it almost makes me want to cancel. But our relationship can’t survive much longer in the weird limbo it’s currently in. Like Simón said, it’s make-or-break time. So, tonight is the night.
After I sent Josh the text on New Year’s Eve, we agreed to go on a real date as soon as we got back. He had initially suggested we start off slow with a movie and pizza at my place, but I hadn’t wanted to. I understood where he was coming from, though. He wanted to give me the advantage of the home base, so to speak. But I didn’t want that. I wanted us to go big or go home. “If we’re going on a date,” I had said, “it has to bea fucking date.”
I may have sounded a bit demanding, but he was totally here for it. I could hear the smile in his voice when we spoke on the phone earlier this week and said, “Hell. Yes.I like your enthusiasm.”
“What’s the bloody emergency? Whydid you ask me to come over urgently?” Oliver walks into my bedroom an hour later, and I’mstillin my leggings, picking out an outfit.
“My first date with Josh is in an hour, and I don’t know what to wear,” I say in despair.
He stares at me for a beat. “Are you kidding me? You made me leave my gym class early forthis? Couldn’t Allie have helped you?”
“She’s not here. And to be fair,” I say, “it’s your own fault for keeping your phone on you while you work out. Also, if you had an iPhone, like most people of our generation, I would’ve been able to just FaceTime you my outfit options!”
Oliver rolls his eyes and groans, throwing himself onto my bed on his back. He shrugs out of his coat and shakes his head at the ceiling. “I can’t believe you made me come all the way over here for this. Now that we no longer have sex, do you see me as one of your female friends? Is that it? In the movie of your life, is this supposed to be a montage of you trying on different outfits?”
I groan in frustration. “Come on, be serious. Help me.”
He gets up and helps me sift through several options. I walk him through my short list, but he doesn’t approve of any of the outfits. For all his complaining, he seems to be enjoying himself.
“What about that sparkly black thing in there?” He points to a jumpsuit hanging in my closet. “That one looks okay, I think.”
“This?” I ask. “You like this one?” I raise an eyebrow and hesitantly hold the black jersey piece with the embellished shoulders to my body in front of the full-length mirror. “You don’t think this is too…I don’t know. Informal?”
Oliver makes a face. “Hmmm…I don’t think so. Add some hot heels and nice makeup, and you’ve got yourself an outfit.”
I look over my shoulder at him in a state of shock. How did he do that?! He just managed to do in two minutes what I hadn’t been able to do in two hours—and I’m a girl.
“Go on, try it on then.” He takes a seat on my bed and pulls a water bottle from his backpack.
“Um,” I say uncomfortably. “Okay, but you need to leave for me to do that.”
He stops mid-sip and raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “Seriously?” He sighs deeply. “It’s the end of an era, and it’s so sad. I’ll never be able to see you naked again.” He shakes his head and rises from my bed.
I laugh at how dramatic he’s being and push him out of my bedroom to finish trying this look on, but he’s right. With the right amount of makeup and the perfect shoes, I’ve got myself a look.
I’m in an Uber, onmyway to the restaurant, when I feel my phone vibrate in my hands.
Josh: You good, kid?
My heart flutters, and I bite my lip at the familiar question. I want to seem cheeky but genuine. He won’t believe me if I tell him that I am doing okay, but I also don’t want to worry him and tell him how concerned I am.
Me: About to go out on a date with this guy, but I’m super nervous.
Understatement of the century.
Josh: Don’t be. I’m sure he’s nervous, too. He’s probably so nervous he’ll send you a text message as a joke just to make sure you’re not standing him up or something.
Me: Nah, I would never stand this guy up. He means too much to me.
He’s unresponsive for a minute as we cross over the London Bridge to the Southbank.
Josh: Believe me, I’m sure you mean more to him.
Josh: I’m sure he got to the restaurant an hour early just to make sure they didn’t fuck up the reservation.
Josh: I’m sure he couldn’t even sleep last night just thinking about what tonight means for the both of you.
Josh: I’m sure he’s thought of nothing but your smile for the past 12 days.
I feel my heart squeeze in my chest.
God, I love him.
Josh: See you soon. I hope…
I snort and shake my head.
Me: Josh, I’m not standing you up, you dummy.
