Page 54 of In For a Penny
“At first, he started saying some ridiculous things, like accusing Oliver of taking advantage of me while I was drunk, which made me super angry because he’s not that type of guy, you know? After I confirmed that I was fully sober in the morning before we did have sex, Josh got upset and said he was surprised I would do something like that since I didn’t ‘seem like the type’ and that I was ‘broken’—kind of. I didn’t like the implications of what he said, so thenIgot upset and yelled at him and stormed out of the Student Union.” I sigh, catching my breath. “It was all very dramatic. I felt like I was in an episode ofThe O.C.”
Chloe snorts at my comparison. “What a throwback reference!”
I laugh once bleakly and take a beat. “I just need to know whether I overreacted or whether Josh is as big of a dumbass as I feel he is right now.”
Chloe and Jane look at each other.
“Have you considered the fact that maybe he was upset and jealous?” Jane asks tentatively. Chloe looks away, biting her lip, blushing.
“I know what it looks like, but it’s not that. To be fair, Stonehenge was incredibly awkward, and your little stunt put a slight wedge between us, so thanks again for that. But honestly, things were almost back to normal until yesterday.” I groan. “Also, he’s been spendinga lotof time with Eloise lately, and you know she was all over him. I think they’ve targeted each other as potential rebounds.” I chuckle. Together, we start heading out of the Manolo Blahnik area, saying goodbye once again to the shoes.See you next time, lovers.“So, no, I don’t think it’s a jealousy thing.”
We walk toward the elevators, and I press the down button. It’s time for part two ofLet’s Cheer Penny Up Day: tea, macaroons, and sandwiches at La Durée.
“I don’t know what to do because IknowI shouldn’t apologize because it’s my life, and I chose to sleep with Oliver, and I am young and get to do whatever I want in a responsible manner, and feminism, and all of that, but I feel like I should apologize for some reason. Is that weird?”
“Yes,” they say at the same time as we cram ourselves into a packed elevator.
I take a deep breath and exhale. I am getting nowhere here. I am no closer to understanding either Josh’s reaction or mine to his. I feel a bit guilty, that’s for sure. But is it because we’re close friends and I didn’t tell him? Why do I feel like I owed it to Josh to tell him about what happened?
I know what Chloe, Jane, and Allie think, but I don’t think it’s about any feelings he may have for me. It’s the opposite. I think he believes that I am interested in him—which I’m totally not, by the way—and that’s the reason why he’s grown a bit more detached lately. On top of all of that, there is the Eloise of it all. Josh only cares about me in a platonic sense, and so do I.
On top of the comments he made about my actions, lest we forget that he also was kind of a dick to Oliver for what he said? Granted, Oliver has no idea, but it doesn’t matter. All this time, I had him pegged as a nice and fiercely loyal friend, but that impression went out the window the second he started accusing Oliver. Does he not know what giving people the benefit of the doubt is? Especially for someone who has been nothing but great to all of us. For all of his advances, Oliver has always been harmless.
This is so stupid. It shouldn’t be bothering me this much.
“You aren’t being very helpful here, you know,” I tell them.
“He’s just a little overprotective in general, love. Not just with you,” Chloe says. “It might just be that he was concerned for your well-being, and we are all reading way too much into this. But I don’t think you should apologize, necessarily. Just let things cool down a bit.”
Nodding, we exit the elevator onto the first floor. “I mean, I’m going to have to let things cool down, anyways. We have that final presentation of the case study to work on together. I’m even supposed to meet him tomorrow to start wrapping the project up.”
Sighing, we make it to the hostess’s stand at the front of the café. While Jane speaks to her about getting us a table at the mezzanine, I mull over our conversation. There is nothing here for me to do besides give him a chance to apologize. He hasn’t stopped texting since it happened, and we still need to meet to at least complete our project.
I’m still pissed, and I might not be in love with my grad school program, but I am not about to let my grades suffer just because of a petty discussion that can—hopefully—easily be solved through a mature conversation and apology. In the end, Josh is a close friend, and I know that deep down he’s a good guy. He was just making sure I was safe, is all.
I reach into my purse and dig through it until I find my phone. To give Josh a chance to explain himself in person, I decide to ignore his previous messages (sixteen total) and just type what I want to say, which isn’t much:
Me: Waterloo Library – tomorrow 2:00 pm before our Research Methods class.
His reply come through almost immediately.
Josh: YES. Thank you.
