Page 32 of Buck This
“Yes. It was messy at first, because he’d just recently been divorced from his ex-wife the year before, and she didn’t want anyone around their son, so it took a year before I was allowed to meet him. And then over the next few years, he became very important to me.”
“The boy?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Why did y’all split?”
“That part wasn’t my choice. I would’ve kept putting up with the embarrassment forever. Or at least until Aiden was out of the house. Caleb kicked me out.”
“Why?”
“He wanted to see if he could make things work with his ex-wife. He said he was doing it for Aiden. That Aiden wanted his parents back together and he had to do what was best for him.”
“So, he was cheating with his ex?”
She inhaled deeply and shrugged. “The story changed a lot back when everything was going down, and eventually I stopped asking the questions. No point trying to drag the truth from a liar. I had to accept it. I was booted from the family I bled my soul into building, and now I am moving forward the best that I can.”
“That guy won’t let you see the boy anymore?”
She shook her head. “His ex-wife made that decision the second the ink was dry on our divorce papers. She went on this rant online about how I was the one who had broken them up in the first place, and what a whore I was, and that was the reputation she built for me. It didn’t matter that she was the one who stepped on my relationship with Caleb. Some women need to be the victims and will twist the truth until they are. I never stuck up for myself when everyone was turning on me and calling me those awful names. I was the whore of the friend-group all of a sudden, and I stopped being invited out. The truth is…ha,” she laughed softly as her eyes rimmed with moisture. The truth didn’t matter anymore. What had been done was done.
“Finish it,” he rumbled.
She inhaled deeply and wondered how this would feel. Would it bring up old hurt feelings? Or would it feel good to tell one person. “The truth is, they were done for a year and a half before I even met him, and then when we got together, shedidn’t like it, and she put all her energy into getting him back. She used her child to do it. If Caleb didn’t do exactly as she wanted, she would withhold his time with his son. I didn’t realize that was happening back then. It was all so secretive, and I just knew I wasn’t allowed to meet Aiden for so long, and I was really confused. She was building this star-crossed lovers story where I was the one breaking them up, but she and Caleb were the ones shitting on me. To the world, it looked like they had a right to get back together even if we were in a relationship. She was there first, right? She had his child. It didn’t matter that they broke up and got back together eighty times over a decade, I was always going to be labeled the other woman whether they were split up or not. She knew exactly what she was doing, and Caleb allowed it and never protected me from their toxic behavior. Meanwhile I was hurt and confused and trying to be the best stepmom I could be. And then all of a sudden, I wasn’t a stepmom or a wife at all. I was just left with this awful reputation, and a bone-deep disappointment in people. I was chum in the water, and the gossip was this feeding frenzy, and no one cared that I was crying on the shower floor as the life I had built was falling apart. They just wanted to talk about this scandal that was orchestrated by his ex, and by him as well.”
“That’s what you meant about the embarrassment?” he murmured.
“Yeah. I felt pretty stupid. I was in love with my life, and with Caleb, and I was a good stepmom. I cared. I felt honored to be in Aiden’s life, but Caleb talked to his ex way too much. He said it was about Aiden, but they talked every day. She would never let up. Never stopped hunting him, and Caleb didn’t set any boundaries, so on they went until they decided I was the one who had to go. And I look back, and I had allowed so much that wasn’t okay. His ex would plan these family outings, and I wasn’t allowed to go. They said it was for Aiden’s sake, to givehim normalcy, but it would be pumpkin patches, and seeing Santa, and Christmas celebrations with her family, and I would just be at home alone, wondering why the hell the man I was devoted to would allow me to be put beneath everyone else. And the worst part about my truth…the very worst part…he left me.” Stupid tears burning her stupid eyes. “I should’ve left from the jump, but I don’t make good decisions about love. People like me should never fall.”
“Why is he messaging you now?” he asked in a gruff tone.
She huffed a breath and shook her head. “They lasted about two weeks from what I heard. He’s dated several girls since then, but they both stuck to the rule. I’m not allowed to see Aiden ever again. It confuses him and makes him sad, so they need him to forget I existed.” She still had her back to him. It’s the only way she got through all of those admissions—if she didn’t look at Buck.
“That’s so fuckin’ messed up, Torrey.”
“Yeah,” she said, turning to find him sitting on the pew again, his jeans unfastened, but still on. “And that’s why I will never get married again, and why I don’t want to joke about being a wife. The certificate doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a piece of paper. You can still be thrown away.”
“Geez,” he murmured, hanging his head. He had his eyes tightly closed and looked like he was in pain. He sat up straighter and gestured to the scar down his ribs. “Car accident. I went through the window.” He leaned his head back and stared down his nose at her, his Adam’s apple prominent in his muscular throat. His eyes looked empty right now. “I hit the guard rail when I was ejected, and then I Changed into the bull, and I stayed like that for a while.” He gestured to his head. “That’s what happened to the horn too.”
“Oh my gosh,” she whispered. It hadn’t been frostbite, or fighting. He’d been horrifically injured. “How long ago did that happen?”
“Two years.” He shook his head. “That’s all I can say. You now have more than I’ve ever given anyone.”
And she understood. He was sharing something painful, as she had shared the painful reality of the end of her marriage. She didn’t want to say another word about what she had been through either.
“This is boring,” he pointed out. “Want to make out?”
She bit her bottom lip to camouflage her smile. He was lightening their conversation to give them both an out. “In a church?”
“It ain’t a church no more. All I smell is arena dirt and bird shit. No one has been here in a long time.” He smacked the seat of the pew and a plume of dust launched into the air. “Besides,” he said. “I’m already going to hell. Might as well go there thoroughly.”
“I think you like kissing me,” she said as she approached him.
“I do,” he said in a deep, rumbling voice as he slid his hands to her hips and gripped her firmly. He dragged her onto his lap.
Torrey slid his hat off and set it onto the pew, upside down as she’d seen him do. “What do you like about it, cowboy?”
He reached up and pushed her curls to the back, settled her hair behind her shoulders, then ran his fingertips down her bare arms.
