Page 288 of Vicious Saint
It was a lot easier to lie when I had my monster under control. But now, once again, Hendrix has not only caught a glimpse of him, but managed to keep me from becoming him.
The least I owe her in return is some type of explanation.
“Lay your head back down on me, Jimi.”
Hendrix listens, but only because she knows she’s won, and softens the blow by drawing circles around my torso.
“I was nine years old the first time he made me hurt someone.”
My eyes squeeze closed, and I’m met with enough excruciating images to form a dry lump in my throat.
Hendrix must sense me suffocating, because she takes hold of my hand, comforting me, similar to how I did when she was having a panic attack. “Breathe, Saint. It’s okay.” When I don’t respond, she adds, “I would never judge you for something you can’t control. Ever.”
I manage to swallow the lump, but not the pain squeezing my chest.
“It was a little girl.”
This has Hendrix tensing, but she catches herself quickly before relaxing again.
Not that it matters…this is insane.
I’ve never told anyone what I did, not even the guys I’ve known practically my whole life.
But I’m going to tell the girl crazy enough to fall in love with me?
Hendrix will be disgusted by me. Hate me. Never look at me the same. I’ll lose her for good.
And for good reason.
“Just forget it.”
“No.”
“I fucking can’t, Hendrix!”
“Yes you fucking can!” She stares up at me again, green eyes filled with fiery determination. “Because love doesn’t stop at the good, Saint. It’s part of the bad too.”
I squeeze my mouth shut and turn my head, never sure what to do when this girl makes me feel so damn vulnerable.
“I’m not afraid to face your demons,” Hendrix says, pressing her cut up palm against my cheek. “But I can’t prove it to you unless I see them.”
“Even if they want to hurt you?”
“Have you let them yet?”
Those words…they hit hard.
Soothing deep, dark places inside me I didn’t even know existed.
Let alone were in pain.
I look down at Hendrix’s bruised, beautiful face again, realizing there’s not a world, realm, or fucking universe where I don’t end up falling in love with her.
I concede with a nod and she smiles, going back to her perch on my chest.
“I had no reason to do what I did…she was just being a brat.”
“Did she go to your school or something?”
