Page 268 of Vicious Saint
Damn him.
Me: How you feeling?
Archer: Like I’ve been hit by a mac truck.
Me: Sorry babe.
Archer: Meh…I’ve got Netflix.
Me: Want me to head over to you after the game?
Archer: Nahhhhhhh I’m gonna finish this episode of Riverdale and take some Nyquil…you go hang out with your new *vomit emoji* boyfriend *vomit emoji*
I know Archer’s just kidding, well,mostly, but I don’t want my best friend thinking me being with Saint will change anything between us. If Archer needs me, I’m there no question, and if Saint can’t handle it, then he’ll just have to use one of his three thousand dollar pillows to scream into.
Me: You sure? Because I’ll leave this bitch right now for a cuddle sesh.
Archer: Ha! Doubt you’d wanna spend the night with me, green snot, and a Neti Pot.
Yeah…maybe I should draw a line this time.
Me: I think Nyquil will be a better friend to you right now.
Archer: Night Hen…enjoy whatever fuckery happens tonight in The Pit.
Archer: Shit that reminds me…did you hear anything about Gunner?
The fight runner?
Who the hell ever does if it’s not Fight Night?
I’ve seen the guy maybe twice being an actual student, other than that, just The Pit.
Me: No…but there’s no fights tonight.
Archer: Word in the halls is he’s no longer running it. Some sort of shit went down during the last Fight Night.
Me: That was months ago.
Archer: Yeah…and notice how there’s been no Fight Night since.
That’s a good point…usually it’s twice a month without fail. The Royal Heathens make sure of it.
Me: What happened?
Archer: From what I heard from the vine is he invited his cousin or some shit…there was an accident.
Me: What kind of accident?
Archer: A baaaaaaaaaad one (flame emoji, flame emoji, flame emoji)
Oh my God, this boy can never get through a rumor without dramatic effect.
Me: DUDE.
Archer: Fine…from what I’m hearing he was drunk as fuck trying to light one of the sconces…dropped the match on his shirt…THAT WAS DRENCHED WITH WHISKEY.
Me: That sounds absolutely unbelievable *eye roll emoji*
