Page 231 of Vicious Saint
As if Hendrix can sense her role in our discussion, she turns her head to face us, no doubt studying me behind the big sunglasses.
“Have you thought about when you’ll tell her?”
I pick up my duffle and throw it over my shoulder.
“Not until I know she’s safe.”
“Shit. But will she ever be?”
“In theory, no. But I made a promise.”
As my feet move toward the tunnel, so does Levi’s, his voice, like the night in The Pit, laced with concern.
“Yeah, I get that, man. But shit’s changed between you two.”
“That doesn’t mean I should fucking break it.”
“It’s just…you’ve already come a pretty long way. Getting better with your mental health and shit.”
“I’m not better. I’m dormant. There’s a difference.”
“You know what I mean.”
Side by side we enter the tunnel, and immediately Hendrix’s presence fades into the darkness around us. Becoming part of both my emptiness and growing frustration with my friend’s shit attempt at a pep talk.
“No, actually I fucking don’t.” I twist to face him. “So why don’t you enlighten me?”
Levi grinds his jaw, torn between guilt and regret for taking off his safety gear. “Look, you know I liked Hendrix even before she became your step-sis and…fling.”
My hand is at his throat before my duffle hits the ground.
“Hendrix wasnota fucking fling.”
I’ve had flings with chicks. A ton of them. And not once have they ever gotten embedded this deep beneath my skin.
Rattled my cage the way Hendrix did.
Made me comfortable enough to show parts of me no one, not even my sister, has ever seen. In such a small amount of time too.
“Shit. I know, bro. That’s not what I meant.”
Levi is one of the very few people I’ve sworn allegiances to, therefore we both know the Saint in me would never take his anger further than a throttle and shove to his chest.
Which is what I do, making him stumble back. “You seem to be having a lot of fucking trouble with the things you mean.”
I pick up my bag and stalk off…Levi right on my tail. “You just seem calmer with the distance growing between you two.”
Says the asshole who insisted minutes ago I go speak to her.
“Did you forget what I did in September? Or do you need me to rip open Luke’s third degree burns?”
There’s only one truth about my distance from Hendrix—that it’sonlygood for Hendrix.
“Yeah, but you’ve adjusted. You’re doing alright.”
“I’ll be alright when all of this shit with the Salvinis and Ivanovs blows over.”
Levi nods, making it the first smart decision he’s made since practice. “Fair enough, bro. Fair enough.” He pauses. “But one question.”
