Page 218 of Vicious Saint
Reaching for the door to the locker room, I hold it open for her to enter. Bex is hesitant until I remind her the team is still on the field.
We’re headed down the middle of it when I announce, “What can I say? I’m an asshole.”
“Oh, cut the shit. We both know that’s not true.” Bex pauses. “Well, it is true. But not to those you care about.”
“I don’t care about Hendrix. Girl’s nothing more than a thorn in my fucking side put there by my father.”
Bex yanks my arm until I stop. “First of all, don’t talk that way about her. Second of all, you’re a liar.”
I suck in a deep breath. “There’s shit going on in my family I need to sort out, can’t have any distractions. And that spitfire you call a best friend? She’s nothing but a distraction.”
“Yeah, I know, I heard. But Hendrixispart of your family, now, Saint. Regardless if you two are together or not.”
Whatever pathetic amount of self-hatred I’ve overcome the past weeks not only returns with a vengeance, but multiplies when I sputter, “She willneverbe part of my family.”
“And you made damn sure Theory sees it the same way.”
“Yes I fucking did.”
Because I had to.
Sadness trickles down Bex’s face, resulting in a shake of her head.
“You’re just as stubborn as your best friend.”
“And you’re starting to be just as irritating as yours.”
The way I’m treating Bex is the exact way someone would treat her right before I introduce Halo to their face.
I don’t want to, but she’s pushing me. Hard and far.
To a place where I’d give up a fucking lung to admit why I did what I did to my little Jimi Hendrix. But I can’t, not yet. Maybe not ever.
“Wow.” Bex huffs. “Alright…I see how it is.”
“You made a mistake coming here.” I spin around and take off, not shocked at all when Bex doesn’t follow.
What I am shocked at, though, is what she says next.
“I wanna tell her what happened.”
I come to an abrupt halt, not needing further explanation on what she’s referring to when I turn to face her. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
“Maybe. But you two got pretty serious, she needs to know.”
Fear. Rage. Both explode inside me like two blocks of dynamite. Ringing my ears and burning my skin as I stomp over to her.
“Do not fucking tell Hendrix, Rebecca.”
The use of her full name has Bex’s painful stare turn to a glower.
“Why? Why shouldn’t I? What do you care if you want nothing to do with her?”
It’s becoming real clear that this girl didn’t only come over for a visit. She’s testing me, trying to gauge a reaction. To reassure herself there’s some type of nobility in my intentions for Hendrix.
She’s wrong.
Lying to the only girl I ever cared enough about to let in may have been necessary but not fucking noble.
