Page 118 of To Free a Soul
Still, Weldir had a good point.
Deciding it was safer, Lindiwe switched back to her Phantom form. Not because of the Demons, but due to the number of poisonous frogs, and venomous spiders and snakes. She was more afraid ofthemthan any nightmarish void-fleshed monsters lurking.
And I thought Austrális was bad.
“It’s been a while since I went to my homeland,” Lindiwe murmured, looking around at the shaded forest.
“Do you want to return there for a little while?”
“No. I was just comparing the deadliness of the fauna between the two. I’m going to collect more souls for you in North Unerica, and then you mentioned you wanted one more child here, and one around Pyrssia, the Sing Empire, and near Siran. We only have one in each of those locations, and the Demons’ numbers have been growing there.”
“As well as Greenisland, as we have none there thus far.”
“There too. A-and Austrális? I’d like one more there, just in case.”
A sort of giddiness ran through her, revealing that Lindiwe’s mind had grown... perverted. More children meant more intimacy between all the touching that was already happening.
She was learning that when she was comfortable and her desire welcomed, she could be quite the tease. It seemed to be having a weird impact on the shadowy demi-god.
Gosh, I miss actual sex, though.Weldir was still expanding his mist’s reach, and although he’d covered many great distances, it wasn’t the same as it once was.
She hated this slow progression. She wanted it, and she wanted it fuckingnow.
Well, at least I’m getting plenty of orgasms,she thought.But I don’t like how weird my mind and body are getting about having babies now.
The thought of having one, knowing that something of Weldir’s was growing inside her, was making her have heart-panicking lewd thoughts. She didn’t like that it was beginning to turn her on, and she often felt the need to scrub her mind of unclean, impure, depraved thoughts.
It also brought on a deep sense of fear.
One that sat in the forefront of her mind constantly and was one of the reasons that she was trying to avoid being in his realm and presence as much as possible. Which was difficult, considering she was horny a lot – probably a healthy amount – and he kept catching her masturbating when she was trying really,reallyfucking hard not to be caught anymore.
Weldir had, unwittingly, offered her a freedom she hadn’t had before: sexual control over her own heart, mind, and body. She’d never realised how much she needed that, or how it would also end up leading to all this.
My heart keeps hurting whenever I look at him.Or talk to him. Or think about him. Or anything involving Weldir, really.
And it wasn’t a cute little tender pang, either.
It was a horrible, heart-wrenching clutch that was so strong, it was tearing the tendons holding it in place. It caused a nauseous pit in her stomach that made it hard to swallow or breathe. The more they touched, the agony of it worsened.
I think... I’m–She shook her head.No. Don’t even think it.
She doubted he’d be capable of truly returning that affection, and... even if Weldircouldexperience love in the same way he could perceive desire, there was a glaring issue. One that would always be present. One that would not change. One that made her heart hurt so bad she wanted to cut it out of her chest cavity with the very shadows she wielded.
They couldn’t be together.
He’s stuck in that world.Yes, she could visit him, but it wasn’treal.
He couldn’t be in the mortal, living world with her. He couldn’t breathe air with her, couldn’t touch the wilting petals of autumn, feel the sun, or... the warmth of her skin. Their relationship would be a falsity that continued on, and on, and would for as long as her soul belonged to him.
And that was so saddening that on the odd occasion, she found tears forming over it. Too many times she had to swallow the lump in her throat, push down all this tender affection, and smile.
Lindiwe no longer believed he was just ‘pretending’ in order to make her content. That he was, unmaliciously, playing the part of a supportive husband. She could no longer deny his care, consideration, and... kindness. It was always there.Hemade himself available in any and every way possible – sexually, emotionally, and even mentally.
He may have disappeared for many years, but he had tried to support her through many of her personal trials. Sure, in the beginning he’d failed often, and had been accidentally callous, but now? Now Weldir could almost be sweet, on top of thefact that he’d always been patient, and he tried his hardest to compromise.
He showed interest in everything she did, as well as in their children and their progress.
He wanted her near, always. She’d denied that for a long while, but it was apparent that he preferred her in close proximity.
