Page 158 of To Free a Soul
“I know.” She wrapped her hands around one of their offspring and brought them close to her belly. “But all I’m doing is sitting here, waiting for something to happen. I don’t mind doing that, but it... it hurts that they shun my presence. I must move on and focus on those whodoneed and want me right now.”
She speaks of these two.He watched one of their featureless offspring snuggle into her stomach, while the other made herwince when they tried to get out of the labyrinth of curls they’d gotten themselves lost in. She helped extricate them and brought them on top of the other so all three could cuddle.
It wasn’t often that Lindiwe shared the truth of her thoughts. He’d known for a very long time that she was discontented with the way their offspring treated her, and there was little he could do to help. He sometimes spoke to their offspring when she wasn’t around and they were walking through his mist across the world, but they often barked and snapped their maws at the unseen entity bothering them.
If I had a true form, I could ease her.She wouldn’t have to be doing this all by herself, nor would she have tobealone.
As the years passed and she still rejected his realm, Weldir found himself wanting to join hers. He’d always had this yearning, but it was growing by the day, like something had always been missing and it was only found at her side.
He used to not let such things bother him; why yearn and hope for things that couldn’t change? He couldn’t seem to stop himself now, staring at her silently, wanting nothing more than to dive through his viewing disc and join her.
It’d even come to the point where he found himself walking by her side on Earth, his female none the wiser that he was right there with her as she traversed the world. That was until she exited his mist and unwittingly left him behind in it. Seeing her grow smaller as she took each step into the distance formed an ache in his mind he couldn’t be rid of.
Even now, he’d like to go to her side and reach his hand out to help her to her feet, so she wasn’t sprawled on the floor.
But he couldn’t.
I have searched my mind endlessly, and there is no solution.He was ill-formed, a deity without the capabilities of true life, and nothing, no amount of knowledge, offered an answer.So how else can I help her?
He didn’t like that she was often forlorn, reclusive, and withdrawn from life. That wasn’t something he’d ever wanted for her. She hunted for souls, she took care of their offspring, but other than that, she did very little for herself anymore.
She’d become a shell of the spritely person she once was and detached in a way that bothered him. It felt wrong for her personality. Like the change was through suffering, and she didn’t know how else to combat it but by turning her mind away from horrible things and the way they hurt her.
I miss her fire,he thought, placing his chin on his closed fist.I also miss the way she reached for me, clawed at me.In any and every sense.
He still didn’t know why she no longer wanted to, despite many decades passing.She doesn’t seem unhappy with me.Not like in the beginning, where she wore a hateful glare whenever he spoke to her. No, she always welcomed his voice these days, but there was an emotion reflecting in her gaze at the same time as the one that said it wanted him there – one that said it didn’t.
My realm feels emptier without her presence in it.It made him realise just how uninhabited and desolate it was.
Giving up on his thoughts, considering he’d annoyed himself and there was nothing he could do to change her and her decision, he shifted his gaze to Nathair.
He has entirely ceased speaking to me.Weldir doubted it was his fault. His serpent offspring had lost the desire to live this stagnant life or learn about what happened in a world he couldn’t go to.
The fragments still bothered him, only giving him moments of proper lucidity before stealing him away again. Weldir thought he might prefer it, as it stopped his mind from having to be present in Tenebris and its nothingness.
“If that’s what you would like to do – return to the northern hemisphere – then I have no issue with remaining awake to assist,” Weldir stated to Lindiwe.
It would be a good opportunity for him to build the reserves of his mana again. It was thickening faster than it used to.
The next time I rest, I should be able to reach much further if I have a store collected.Rather than doing it bit by bit and sleeping more frequently.
Hmm. Perhaps I’m becoming like Nathair.Letting himself be whisked away to refrain from being present in this lonely misery.
Not that he’d ever shared that hardship with Lindiwe – nor did he care to.
It’s not like I can feel the true ache of it,he thought, leaning back nonchalantly to stare up at his false sky.Not like her.
May 21st, 2023
Lindiwe smiled as both her babies played in a flowery meadow. Purple pincushion flowers danced and swayed in the light wind, barring a few broken stems in the wake of the vigorous wrestling match. They gave squealing roars, so cute and unmenacing no matter how ferocious they tried to sound.
Sitting on a short boulder with her feet flat on the ground, she rested her chin on her hand. She inspected their featureless, blobby black forms.
“I can’t decide what their skulls and horns should be.”
Did she want them to look similar, like with Aleron and Ingram, or different so they had different strengths to help each other?
At the sound of her voice, they came running over to her with joyful trills and climbed her legs.
