Page 152 of To Free a Soul
Losing the fight, she bent forward with a hand on one knee and expelled the empty contents of her stomach. It was so warm that the blackness staining the snow began to melt it. Tears welled in her eyes as she heaved multiple times, trying her hardest to see so she didn’t vomit on herself or her curious baby.
At the noise she was making, or perhaps the smell, they came running over with a trill. Lindiwe scooped them up before they could step in the black puddle she’d made, as her body continued to heave even when nothing came up. Screeching with hands reaching out and making grabbing motions, they fought to get to it, and she utterly refused to let them play in it.
Once she was done, and managed not to get any on herself, she leaned back to breathe.
“You should eat. It makes you feel better,”Weldir said through their bond.
“I know it will make me feel better, but it sometimes makes it worse,” she answered, as she looked up at the colourful sky slowly shifting to blue.
Lindiwe wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and then reached down to grab a fistful of snow. She wiped her face, then put some in her mouth, let it melt, and swirled it around before spitting it back out.
“It seems particularly bad this time.”
Lindiwe gave a mild snort of laughter. “Maybe having two children back to back wasn’t wise.”
“It was your idea.”
She rolled her eyes, got up, and walked away from her mess with her baby curled up under her arm like a ball. “I know having a second baby only a few weeks after the first was my idea, but I’m hoping if I grow them closely like Ingram and Aleron, they’llform a bond like them. I wish I had realised sooner, as I may have paired up all the Duskwalkers.”
“You cannot change what has happened.”
Snow crunched under her footsteps as she walked into one of the forests of Mongulien. The people here were good, kind, and hardy, which meant many of them had survived in the destruction of history.
The Demons kept coming, but they were wary of the humans here, just as they were wary of the countries surrounding it. This was the perfect location to raise these two, as the country sat between the Sing Empire and Pyrssia. She planned to leave them a little east, where the two countries bordered, and let them roam freely.
“How is Nathair today?” Lindiwe asked, changing the direction of the conversation.
She kept an eye out for any noise or movement, knowing the hibernating animals would emerge soon in search of food now that winter was over.
“He’s still lucid, but he isn’t interested in speaking with me much.”
Pausing to sigh, she pushed her fidgeting child to her chest so they could cling to her properly, then scratched behind her ear. Her loose hair tickled the back of her hand, and she patted it down to neaten it.
“He’s doing better regarding the fragments, but I think he’s truly begun to realise that there is no life here. He cannot move forward when there is nothing to move towards.”
As much as learning this upset her, they’d known about Nathair’s mental decline for quite some time. His sudden increase in humanity meant he understood the hopelessness of his new life.
The fragments had been a distraction, but he was better at controlling them. Learning how to speak through sign languagehad also been a welcome challenge because it gave him something to focus on, rather than dwell. But he and Weldir had, apparently, been able to speak for decades, so all that remained was a hole in Nathair’s life.
One in which he dwelled in impossibilities, just like her.
Lindiwe raised her face to the sun when it peeked through the trees.I bet he’s questioning why he’s there, and how unfair it is.She continued walking on her aimless path.He used to watch us with Weldir, but he’s stopped doing that too.
He was mentally shutting down, right after snatching his mind back from the human fragments that pestered him. They were still present, and sometimes he lost the battle, but he was better at dealing with them.
She was thankful to remain updated, but it was... hard not being able to do anything to help. He was there, even further from her reach than Weldir, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Weldir worried he’d consume her entirely if she went to Tenebris. She was human. She may not survive the ‘great swallowing’ she’d once called it with a disgusted shudder.
Placing a hand on her stomach when it grew queasy, she then rested it lower. She rubbed the outside of her growing womb, her belly still flat, as it was too soon for her to start showing.
They’d both been conceived by a tendril, Weldir begrudgingly agreeing despite never trying to convince her otherwise. He’d given up on trying to change her mind about intimacy, as five decades had passed and she’d not once wavered in her decision.
She’d hated the entire process, but it did make her heart feel lighter. It also made guilt deepen to the point she wanted out of his realm so fast, she would have ripped apart the fabric of space and time just to flee.
“Thank you for letting me know about Nathair.”
Silence fell between them, which was perfect. It allowed her to begin her hunt for food.
