Page 98 of Treason's Temptation
“Stop trying to carry everything yourself,” Daige replied, lifting my chin.
“It’s not that simple.”
“You’re just scared because that means being seen. He’ll see the cracks you hide behind because that little voice is still in the back of your head telling you you’re not worthy. I know what it’s like to flinch at kindness, to confuse control with care, to only trust when your back is against the wall. When you grow up thinkin’ the person who’s supposed to love you the most is the same one who makes you feel the smallest, you expect pain, even when peace walks in. Sometimes you even crave it because pain is familiar, but peace is scary.”
Daige shifted toward me, reading me like a book, sounding a lot like Ward. I froze, listening to her bring life to all the feelings I buried inside.
“My father had a voice that could hush a room. Charismatic, well-dressed, the kind of man folks thought was a pillar, but we knew him differently. My older sister got it the worst,” Daige shook her head. “I got it, too, but being the baby shielded me. She did too.”
I looked up, my eyes glossing slightly, knowing all too well how Daige’s sister felt.
“Now you’re stuck with a hole in your heart nobody can see, but you feel it every time someone tries to love you. You survived Lorenzo by disappearing, but Treason isn’t him.”
“That’s the part nobody talks about. Not being able to trust your own voice anymore because all you hear isthere’s.” I dropped my head to hide my tears, “I don’t think Treason is like Lorenzo, but there was a time I didn’t think Lorenzo was a monster.”
“You know, but saying it out loud feels too much like peace, and you’re afraid of being wrong.Again.”
“So what do I do?”
“Teach your body that you can be trusted. You have to tell him. Otherwise, you’ll just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and that’s no way to live. You deserve real happiness, Navie, and I think Treason wants to give it to you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, and I’m here if you need anything. You hear me?”
“Yes, Daige. I hear you,” I smiled, and even managed a chortle.
“Good, now go upstairs and take a shower. Order some dinner because it’s been a day, and nobody is cooking. Then cuddle up with your man and tell him.”
Something compelled me to lean over and hug Daige. She didn’t have any children, but she possessed a motherly spiritthat soothed me. Climbing out of the car, I pushed through the heavy glass doors and entered the lobby.
Rylo was behind the counter, coaching the new familiar face. I missed hanging out, but I wasn’t in the mood anymore. I needed solitude to recharge before Treason came home, and realized something was broken. Unfortunately, Rylo didn’t give me space.
“Hey, boo! Do you have any more pasta left?” he asked, following me to the elevator. “Your man was bragging this morning about his packed lunch with the cute note.”
He didn’t take my silence as a response. Instead, he was on my heels.
“What’s wrong? You’re quiet today.”
“Long morning,” I replied, forcing a smile, “Aren’t you supposed to be at your post?”
“If the new girl can’t handle it for a few minutes, her ass needs to be fired. I’m hungry.”
“I don’t know how your ass isn’t fired yet.”
Rylo waved a hand at me, “Girl, please. This building would crumble without me,” then stepped off the elevator, walking straight to the kitchen.
“I’m going to change. Make yourself at home.” Sarcasm dripped from my voice because Rylo was already in the damn refrigerator.
Shutting Treason’s bedroom door, I rested my back against it. I tried to break the chain of negative thoughts, trying to convince me not to tell Treason.Theysaid he wouldn’t understand. He would see it as a distraction. Broken.Theyadvised me to flush it and move on with the day, so I began with the clothes. I could still smell Lorenzo in the fibers, making me want to vomit. Tossing on a pair of shorts and Treason’s NSU Law t-shirt, I walked out of the bedroom pretending the morning was a bad dream.
“Marissa, I left it next to the computer!” Rylo yelled into the intercom, massaging his temple.
Marrisa didn’t know who she was arguing with. Even I knew how meticulous Rylo was. She quickly learned yelling, “Oh, I found it.” Meanwhile, Rylo rolled his eyes at her high-pitched voice.
“You better get back down there before the building burns down,” I sang, after he pressed his index finger so hard on the button to end the call.
“Her ass wants that check, she’ll learn today. Playing dumb will not get me to do your job. I barely wanna do my own shit.”
