Page 2 of The Beginning
I give him a small smile again. “I am sorry, Jase. I shouldn’t have said those things. I know you work hard for us. I’m just tired,” I say. The excuse is flat even to my own ears, but all he cares about is me taking responsibility forhisactions. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong… ever.
His hands on my thighs begin to move again, caressing the skin softly, making chills run along my skin. I hate that my body reacts to his touch. I am really hoping that he doesn’t want me to do anything with him. I think I would be physically ill if he did. Especially knowing he just fucked her.
He gives me a crooked smile and stands up, making me take a small step back. He cups my face and softly runs his thumb over my swollen lip. He leans down and kisses me gently. “Now no more talk of Sara. Okay? I won’t have you accusing me in my own house of something we both know I’m not doing.”
He looks sternly at me. One brow lifts waiting for my answer.
“Okay, Jase. I won’t bring it up again,” I say letting my eyes downcast a bit.
“Good,” he says, leaning down and kissing my forehead this time. While you clean up the mess in the kitchen, I’m going to take a ride over to Edwin’s house to finish watching the game.”
He drops his hands and maneuvers around me. I circle my arms around my midsection once again. He grabs his leather jacket from the back of the chair and heads to the front door. I slowly make my way to the entry into the foyer and watch him open the door. He turns for just a second with a smile on his face.
“I love you, Lexi. Don’t forget that.” All I can do this time is nod. After everything that just transpired, I can’t find it in me to say it back. This isn’t love. Who knows what this is but I know deep down in the pit of my stomach, this definitely isn’t love.
I think at one point I loved him. And he probably cared for me sometime in the beginning. But what this has become isn’t love. It’s possession.
He leaves, and I walk to the front window, opening the blinds just slightly enough to watch him get on his bike. The sound of the engine vibrates through my body. That’s one thing I’m going to miss, riding on the back of his bike.
As he races down the street, the sound disappears just as his tail lights do. I walk upstairs as quickly as my sore body will allow me. I grab my suitcase and the overnight duffle bag that I always take whenever I go to stay with Shayna and begin to throw whatever I can get my hands on inside of them.
This is going to be difficult since they moved to Savannah, Georgia a few months back. Plus, I don’t want to go straight there with all these cuts and bruises on me. I have some money saved up so I will stay in a cheap motel for a couple of weeks until I’m healed and then I will figure out about transferring and moving up there towards them.
My cell phone rings as I zip up the duffle bag. I know it can’t be Jason since he’s still riding. I grab it from the nightstand andlook at the caller ID. A small smile lifts the side of my lips as I hit the green answer button. “Hey, Shay.” Relief floods my voice.
“Hey, you! How are you? We haven’t spoken in over a week,” she says. I can’t believe it’s been a week since we talked.
“Um… doing okay, I guess.”
“What’s going on?” She asks, concern lacing her tone. She can read me better than one of her books. I close my suitcase now and plop down on the bed. I’m quiet for a minute, staring up at the ceiling, but she waits patiently for me to get my thoughts together.
“I… I think I’m done, Shay. I can’t do this anymore,” I say, my voice cracking a bit at the end. I feel the tears welling in my eyes, but not for him. I’m just so tired, and making this decision feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
“Did something happen, Lex? Talk to me.”
“N-no. Not really. I think-” I stop and think about what I’m about to say. “I think Jase is cheating on me.”
“You think, or you know?” she asks, now sounding like she’s getting upset.
“I know he is, with a girl from his office. I’ve seen the texts,” I admit. She’s quiet on the other end of the line for what feels like several minutes, but probably only seconds.
“Okay, Lexi. Then it’s time for you to leave. Is Jase there?” she asks me.
“No. I’m packing some of my stuff now.”
“Alright. When are you heading this way?” I know she is expecting me to come straight there, but I can’t. I can’t let her see me like this. I am too embarrassed knowing I have let this go on for so long. I know she knows about some of it. But to the extent that I’m in now, she has no idea.
“I-I need to get everything in order before I come up there Give me a week or so, and I will come up there to find a place near–” she interrupts me right away.
“You will stay with us, Lexi. And that’s final.” I smile to myself and release a sigh.
“I appreciate the offer, Shay. I really do. But I need my own space. And you and Cam need yours. I cannot do that to you guys. But I will find someplace close by so we can see each other every day if we want. Okay?”
I hear her release a deep breath. She wants to argue, but she knows I’m right. Because it’s not just her and Camden. It’s the boys too. She has two kids, Darian age 16, and Landon age 7, that still live there with her and I’m not broaching on their family time and becoming that fifth wheel.
“Alright. As long as you get your butt up here as soon as you can. You can stay with us until you find a place,” she tries to compromise. I laugh and relent.
“Fine. Give me a week or two. I will be up there as soon as I can.”
