Page 37 of Keep My Secrets
“What are you going to do when you get bored with her? Up and leave? Leave her with nothing? No goodbye, no answer? That seems to be your MO. How long until you get bored with her? When you get her pregnant? Going to abandon her then? How long until she is all used up? You know she got passed around quite a bit already, I bet she can’t even tell you how many men she’s fucked!”
“Do not talk about her that way! She is your daughter, not you. You have no right to judge what she did with her body. The only reason you were judged is because you were in a committed relationship, you ruined lives!”
"Whose life did I ruin? You seem to have done just fine!”
“Aria’s!”
How much of what she is saying is true? Where does he work? What does he do? Why is he always back at Acadia? Did he really meet me while I was there? Is he going to leave? Am I not enough? I know I can't trust my mom, but Theo isn't denying some of these things. Can I trust him?
The questions race through my head. Pressure builds in my chest, making it hard to breathe. I try to catch my breath, but I can't. I can't get a deep breath no matter how hard I try. The room begins to spin.
“Red.”
Chapter
Seventeen
Aria
Red. Red. Red.
I need the thoughts to stop. I need the voices quieted. I need the shouting to end.
“Daddy.” My voice soft, but it's all I can muster. “Red.”
Theo stops mid-sentence and immediately puts all his focus on me.
My hands gripped tightly together at my chest. Our eyes meet as a tear slides down my cheek.
“Get her out of here,” he shouts to security, who has had a front row seat to my family drama. “If she puts up a fight, call the cops. Have her arrested for trespassing and assault. Maybe she will add resisting arrest and do us all a favor." His eyes never leave mine.
The door slams behind him. He slowly walks over to me.
“Aria.” His voice is gentle. “How can I help?” His blue eyes soften as he reaches out and places his hands on my shoulders.
“I-It's too much.” My voice hitches mid-sentence. My lungs still won't let me breathe. My short and shallow breaths are theonly thing keeping me from passing out, but that doesn’t seem too far away.
Theo places his hands on either side of my face, keeping my eyes locked on his.
“Aria, I need you to listen to me and me alone.” His voice commanding, like when he is instructing me in the bedroom. These are words he expects to be obeyed. I focus on trying to only hear his voice. I close my eyes, trying to get the warring thoughts inside my head to quiet.
“Eye contact. You will look at me.” My eyes snap open and find his eyes unwavering, just staring into mine. I flick back and forth between his eyes as he starts giving me more instructions. My hands begin to tremble, and Theo gently lowers his to wrap around my fists.
“Try to take a deep breath. In for four, out for four.”
In—One. Two. Three. Four.
Out—One. Two. Three. Four.
The numbers chant inside my head. Theo takes deep breaths with me, leading by example.
“Again.”
We continue this pattern until I can take an uninterrupted breath. My lungs have opened, and I am no longer inching closer to passing out.
My hands stop shaking.
“What do you need, baby?”
