Page 93 of Love Me Steadfast
“What if he can’t? What if I’m stuck feeling like this forever? I can’t bear it, Char.” She grips me tighter, her voice thickening. I don’t want her to get too upset right now. Not with all the tubes, and how painful it must be to breathe with a broken lung.
“You’re not alone in this,” I say.
“Do you really mean that?” she coughs out.
“You bet I do.” I sit closer and stroke her hair until her eyes flutter closed.
A nurse peeks in, a serious expression on her face. She nods toward the hallway.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” I tell a now-sleeping Morgan and give her another kiss on her forehead. “Try to rest.”
Outside, the hallway is bright. There’s more activity now that it’s morning. More conversations between staff members. More doorways cracked open. More beeps and soft alarms chirping from the machinery.
Standing at the nurse’s station in tight jeans and an oversized flannel shirt, her dark hair tied back in a limp ponytail, is Mom. The sight of her in this tunnel of abrasive sound and unwelcome light makes me step back, but it just makes me feel more off-kilter, like I’m falling backwards, my arms windmilling as I teeter, desperate to right myself.
Mom whips her head in my direction, and her nostrils flare. “Charlie, tell them.”
The nurse who came for me pauses at my side, her gaze flicking from Mom to me.
“Tell them I have a right to see Morgan.” Mom’s dull brown eyes bore into me. Her skin looks sickly, with the pink blooms on both cheeks that, if anything, have gotten worse since the last time I saw her.
I search the hallway for Dad or Theo or anyone who can back me up.
“Is this your mom?” The nurse’s tone is even, but her expression is edged with concern.
“Yes,” I huff.
“About fucking time,” Mom spits out, closing the distance between us. Her breath smells like ashes. “Now where is she?”
“We don’t want you here,” I say in a rush because this is all wrong. Seeing Mom is exactly what Morgandoesn’tneed.
Mom’s hand whips out so fast I hear the crack on my cheek before the burn shocks me backwards.
“Whoa!” The nurse behind the counter jumps out to block Mom while the nurse standing nearby pulls me away, sheltering me with her body. “Call security!”
The embarrassment is worse than the sting. I want to run and hide, but I have to stand my ground for Morgan.
More voices fill the hallway. Other staff members. Dad’s shouting. Mom arguing with the security guard. The nurse ushers me to the alcove halfway down the hallway and into one of the padded chairs. She rubs my back. “I’m sorry, hon. That was awful. Are you all right?”
I hide my face in my hands. “Fine.” It’s not like I haven’t been hit before. It’s just been so long, I forgot how to take it.
“She won’t be allowed back in here,” the nurse says as another security guard arrives and Mom is escorted out of the unit. The nurse hands me a bottle of water. “You take a minute, okay?”
I press the cold water bottle to my hot cheek. “Yeah.”
The approaching footsteps only make me want to fall into the floor and disappear.
“Hey,” William says in a soothing voice as he kneels in front of me, his hands on my arms. His tone is so earnest that I can’t help the tears pinching my eyes.
“Come here,” he says, reaching his arms around me.
“I don’t care”—my breath locks up but I force out the rest—“about her.”
“Let me hold you,” he says, cradling me.
I give him my weight and he lifts me up like I’m a sack of feathers. I bury my face in his neck as he carries me to a differentchair, this one inside a small waiting room. He settles into it and pulls me close, his strength and warmth all around me.
I so badly want it to last that I can’t help the sob breaking past my lips.
