Page 76 of Love Me Steadfast
Just the way he says my name is breaking me a little. After only a few kisses. Imagine how I’d feel after…I close my eyes to push the thought away.
Because if kissing William felt that good, more with him would feel incredible.
Am I making the right choice?
“Theo’s my best friend,” he says.
“I know. He feels the same way about you.”
William rolls his head back and sighs at the ceiling. “Fuck.”
I blink at the lowering clouds. It’s going to snow again. “We should get back.”
He nods slowly, then he offers me his big palm. “Don’t ask me to forget kissing you.”
I slide my hand into his, and he folds his fingers over mine. “I won’t be forgetting it.”
With a hint of a smile, he nods again. “Okay.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
CHARLOTTE (NOW)
The secondI settle onto the seat of Will’s old truck, I realize my mistake. Memories of us break loose inside my heart, but they’re coming too fast. With too much power. Like floodwaters rising out of control.
This is the truck where we first kissed. Where we discovered so much about each other.
It even still smells the same. Like blackberries and pepper. Like him.
There’s no reason he kept this truck other than because of me. Because of us.
Could he make this any fucking harder on me?
“The saddle’s at Rumble Creek Riders, right? You want to stop there first?” William asks as he pauses at the end of his driveway.
I roll my window down partway to bring in the fresh, fall air, all while staying as far away from him as I can. “That makes sense.”
How can he just sit there making casual conversation while I’m getting dragged under by my feelings just two feet away? I want to tell him to take me back to the house, but he turns and it slips from the rearview, leaving my words coiling in the dust.
I rub the achy spot at the back of my jaw with the tips of my fingers. The Advil’s not working today. There’s only one dentist I trust, and she’s in Seattle. Just one more reason being here is a mistake.
As Will accelerates, behind me from the side of the truck bed, Ollie points her nose into the wind, her fur rippling and her eyes narrowed to furry slits. She really is sweet, and harmless. I should stop being afraid.
God, I hate this. Being scared. Tiptoeing around the trapdoors that hide the truth. But it’s the only way to protect the people I love.
“I had this neighbor in Seattle with the sweetest golden retriever,” I say. “She got attacked by a pit bull one day when Brent and I were standing outside talking. It just came out of nowhere.” Either it was Lucy’s piercing cries or the pit bull’s brutality that triggered my first panic attack. Someone must have called 911 because the next thing I knew I was being coaxed to breathe and focus on the medic’s caring eyes while his partner bandaged up Brent’s hand. Thankfully Lucy survived.
William winces. “I’m sorry. That must have been scary.”
“I know all dogs aren’t like that, but…sometimes I react.”
Will shoots me a look of compassion. “I get it.”
I look away because how can he when I don’t understand it myself? “Ollie’s really sweet.”
“Thanks.” He glances my way. “And…thank you for telling me.”
I keep my gaze on the passing landscape so he can’t see the turmoil brewing inside me. Maybe I should have kept that story to myself. What am I doing?
