Page 92 of Love Me Steadfast
I sit up and exhale a slow breath. “She’s going to be okay.”
Relief eases the tension in his features. “I’m so glad to hear that.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Zach said Tony Hoffman is going to be charged today. His dad is making all kinds of noise. Says it was Morgan’s fault.”
Hot anger prickles my neck, but I shake my head. It doesn’t matter.
“Sofie made a bunch of food in case anyone was hungry,” William says. “Your dad’s out in the entryway talking on the phone. Do you want me to get coffee or some tea or something for you guys?”
It’s surprisingly difficult to accept, but he looks so eager, and my throat is killing me. “Tea sounds good,” I say. “Dad would probably love coffee.”
William rocks to his feet and leans over me, planting a soft kiss to the top of my head. “Be right back.”
I breathe in a hint of his scent. He slips from the room.
Morgan stirs. I stand up and reach for her hand. “Hey, Mo Mo.”
Her focus is glazed, but she frowns. “I’m not dead, huh.”
Leave it to Mo to try to make this light. “You might feel like it for a while.”
“No shit,” she says, taking in the tubes and wires while working her chapped lips. “Hurts.”
I’ll ask the nurse if she can have more painkillers. Though maybe they’re being careful. “The good news is you’re going to be okay.”
“Yeah, I think someone said that.” She closes her eyes, like she needs a mini nap after talking.
“Are you hungry?” Whatever food Sofie packed must still be warm because there’s a sweet scent coming from the grocery bag William placed on the side table.
Morgan looks away.
“Can I do anything for you?” I glance at the TV stuck to the wall above the door. “You want to watch something?”
“Maybe later.”
An awkward silence festers between us. “I’m sorry, Mo,” I say to fill it.
She shakes her head, but refuses to look at me. “I’m such a fuckup.”
I squeeze her hand. “You are not.”
“Nothing feels right, Charlie. I don’t…feel right. I never have. I try to do things the way…everyone else does…but I just fuck it up.” She swallows but it looks painful. I reach for the cup of water on the side table and hold the straw for her to drink. After she gulps a sip, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, wincing at the pain from moving. She slumps back into the pillows. “I tried to have a good time at the fair, like everyone else, but…” A tear trickles down her cheek. “I couldn’t stand it. I ditched my friends, Charlie. Who does that? I let that guy sleep with me. I don’t even like him.” She shakes her head, closing her eyes, like she can’t bear to look at me. “I knew it was wrong, but I just…wanted to feel something…else.”
My heart cracks. What do I say to such raw vulnerability? I want to reassure her, but all the words I reach for sound hollow in my already frazzled mind. So I cradle her hand in mine. “That sounds awful, Mo. And…hard to share.” Has she always felt this way? It must be agony.
“Sometimes I feel like it’d be better for everyone if I wasn’t around,” she whispers, swiping at her cheek.
“It wouldn’t be better for me,” I say, panic splitting open inside me, tingling down both my arms, hitching my breath.
She finally turns, tears welling in her eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I dive in for a hug, carefully wrapping my arms around her shoulders and pressing my cheek to hers. That I can’t get closer because of all her tubes and equipment makes me start to cry. She needs me right now, and I can’t get to her. Not completely.
“I’m here, okay?” I tell her, closing my eyes. She smells of antiseptic soap and medicine, and her skin feels cool against mine, like she’s not fully alive just yet. Like she could slip away if I don’t anchor her to me.
“I think…Dad needs to know how you feel,” I say, swallowing hard.
“He’ll be mad.”
I kiss her temple. “He needs to know how to help you.”
