Page 89 of Love Me Steadfast
I don’t have an answer, at least not a good one. I cradle her face. “I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
Frustration plays across her face. “But you want me only in secret? So you can keep your friendship with Theo? Lead the team to glory this year?”
My heart slams against my ribs like storm waves on a beach. If Theo finds out I’ve been kissing his sister, he’ll beat me to within an inch of my life. I could bear it, and I’d prove him wrong because I would never hurt Charlotte. But what if he turns the team against me? I might be able to win them back by next season, but there’s no guarantees. In many ways, I’m still an outsider. My belonging isn’t a given. Even the best QB can’t win games alone. I for sure can’t make my full ride to Oregon come true alone.
“Shit.” I rest my forehead against hers again and sigh in defeat. She’s right. “Then we’ll wait.” What other choice is there? Because I’m not turning off how I feel. I’ve tried. I can’t do it.
She pushes me backwards, anguish tightening her gaze. “Meanwhile, what…I just put my life on hold?”
“Only until the season is over.”
She huffs a frustrated breath, then slips past me, picking up her bucket and heading for the truck.
I run my hands through my hair and stare up through the alcove of branches to the deep blue sky. Damn it. I’m not asking her to wait forever. But she’s right. It’s a shitty thing to ask. How could I be so fucking selfish?
At the truck, I set my bucket next to hers and close the tailgate. When I get behind the wheel, Charlotte’s on the far side of the cab, looking out her window.
“Forgive me,” I say, which is different than being sorry. I don’t like that my honesty hurt her or made her feel like she doesn’t deserve to be put first. She absolutely does. I just don’t know how to do that without risking…well, everything else.
Her eyes tense with an emotion I can’t read. Remorse? Frustration? “I hate that you’re under so much pressure.”
A trickle of relief rolls down my spine. She should be pissed at me, but she’s not. “Comes with the territory.”
“But it means making sacrifices.”
Fuck. I’m not stupid—she’s making an effort to understand. But I also don’t want her feeling sorry for me either. I made my choice long ago. A choice that’s given me every opportunity.
Except the one where I get to be with her.
Fuck.
But there’s always a price, isn’t there?
“I won’t ask you to wait for me, Charlotte,” I say, swallowing the tight knot in my throat. “But I’ll wait for you.”
Her eyes widen. “You don’t mean that.”
I cock an eyebrow. “You underestimating me, blackbird?”
She gives me half-laugh, half sigh. “Ohmygawd, you’re nuts.”
I grab her thigh and drag her closer. “Maybe.” But I meant what I said. I don’t want to be with anyone else. And it’s not like I don’t know how to be disciplined. Fuck, it’s the story of my life. “Just don’t go falling head over boots for someone else while you’ve got my heart on a string, kay?”
She scoffs. “Head over boots? Holy hell, Will. You’re making, like, zero sense.”
The thought of anyone else with her drives me fucking insane, but what if her prince charming comes along tomorrow, ready to give her what I can’t? “After the playoffs, you better be ready to drop everything, because I’ll be coming for you.”
Her eyes brighten. “You’re serious.”
“Kiss me, Charlotte. Make it a good one. I need it to last.”
Her face stills and her lips part with a slow sigh. Then she lifts her chin and kisses me. It’s tender and sweet, like a promise, and then her fingers are in my hair and her tongue darts out, tangling with mine. I deepen the kiss, my blood heating in my veins, making my pulse tap harder beneath my skin.
Maybe asking for this last kiss was a mistake, because waiting on the other side is the agony of watching her walk outof my life. Of trying not to care if she ends up with someone else.
So I pull her onto my lap and urge her close, gripping her waist. So I can at least pretend for a little longer that she’s mine.
One kiss leads to another, the heat between us like some kind of drug because I want more of it. More of her. I caress up her back and dive one hand into her hair, cradling the back of her neck. Her breaths quicken. She caresses both sides of my face, her touch at once sensual and tender. She tilts her hips to get me closer, like she needs more of me too. I don’t care that I’m lost in her right now. All I can think of is how to stay lost.
