Page 82 of Love Me Steadfast
If only it wasn’t so fucking complicated.
Leaving the cool shade of the trees growing next to the cabin, the four of us cross the lush grass, its fresh scent blending with the sweetness from the flower arrangements. Squinting in the sunshine, we queue up at the back of the chairs. I check my pocket for the hundredth time, but the velvet pillow with the rings is still there, safe. The last of the guests take their seats, and with a cue from the wedding emcee, Hutch and Sawyer walk down the aisle and take their places, then Zach and I follow.
I’m supposed to keep my eyes straight ahead, but they drift towhere Charlotte is seated. She’s wearing a pale pink dress and her shiny brown hair is partially pulled back by a pearl-studded clip that catches the sunlight as she plays. Morgan’s in a similar type of dress, hers a mint green, her hair in loose curls down her back. Though they’re focused on their music, Charlotte’s gaze lifts to mine for a fraction of a second. The sunlight makes her pretty eyes shine and the green flecks dance. My face gets hot and I nearly trip over my feet. When Charlotte’s attention returns to her music, I remember that there are a hundred people here watching my every move right now, and hurry to take my place.
But when I join Zach and swivel the way our emcee told us to, Charlotte is in my periphery, stealing my attention. I should resist. After all, there are a dozen other things to focus on right now. Our Alaska family taking up the entire front row. Barb dabbing her eye with a handkerchief while Henry presses a soft kiss to her temple. Jesse and Neve looking sharp in their dressy attire, and Neve rubbing her growing belly. Hell, I should be thinking about football and the coming season, and leading the team this year as the starting QB.
If nothing else, that should be enough to snap me out of this. I owe it to my team, and to Theo, to be at my best. To stay focused on our goal of winning State.
Allowing myself to get distracted by wanting what I can’t have is a recipe for a lot of really big things to go wrong.
So when Sofie appears, her arm draped over Rowdy’s, and the guests all stand in a wave of ahhhs, I shift my attention to celebrating my brother and his big day.
And it works, at least until Barb calls all the single ladies to the dance floor for Sofie’s bouquet toss, and the crowd parts to reveal Charlotte clutching the flowers, her face lit with surprise. Our eyes meet at the same moment I remember what catching the flowers is supposed to mean, and my stomach flips. Zach wraps his arm around my neck and pulls me close to razz me. I laugh and try to squirm away before anyone sees.
It's not that I believe in that stupid prediction, but I can’t shake the weird tingle in my gut.
Then the music changes and Rowdy is leading Sofie to the dance floor. He makes it halfway before he starts tearing up, and soon half of the guests are dabbing their eyes and sniffling. Then it’s Zach’s turn, and though our Alaska friends give obnoxious hoots and cheers, pretty much everyone is crying by the time they finish. As Zach dips Sofie and kisses her, the crowd erupts with catcalls and whistles while the camera bulbs flash. My chest tightens with emotion. This is Zach’s happy ending, and how lucky am I to be a part of it?
Then it’s my turn to dance with Sofie while Linnea dances with Zach. I don’t know anything about dancing, but Sofie and I practiced a little. Her smile is so big and her blue eyes are so full of joy it makes that fullness in my chest feel almost painful. Knowing that she loves and cares for my brother so much, enough to welcome him and me into her life, into her family, means a lot.
“Are you going to get Charlotte out here?” Sofie asks, raising one of her eyebrows.
I scoff.
She laughs. “Girls love a boy who can dance.”
Maybe so. But they must also like a boy who can throw a football because I have yet to spend a Saturday night alone.
The song ends, and Sofie kisses my cheek. My gut churns with an influx of nerves because my final obligation of the night is next—as a way to encourage people to get out and dance, I’m supposed to find a new partner. Sofie, Zach, and Linnea will too, but that doesn’t feel reassuring.
Then my eyes lock on Charlotte’s and for a second, I can’t breathe.
Maybe it’s the warm glow from the setting sun, or the way her soft smile makes the apples of her freckled cheeks turn rosy, or seeing her all dressed up, but she’s just so fucking pretty.
Shit. I can’t dance with her, especially in front of all these people. But I can’t exactly walk away now, either.
My heart hammers into my throat as I cross the distance. Her eyes widen, but when I offer my hand, she takes it. The warmth from her touch is like being wrapped in my own personal sunbeam.
“Are you having a good time?” I ask as I try not to stomp on her toes.
“Oh my god yes. Such a beautiful ceremony,” Charlotte says.
She feels good in my arms. And she’s either danced before or she’s just naturally light on her feet. I’m secretly grateful, because I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.
“I heard about Oregon,” she says, her eyes sparkling beneath the string lights. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. It’s only a verbal offer, but yeah, I’m excited.” And terrified of fucking it up. If I get injured or choke this season or start any more fights, that offer vaporizes, and so does my future.
“You’ve worked hard.”
Fucking right, I have. “Where do you want to go?” We’re only juniors, but I have a feeling Charlotte has a plan. She always does.
“Cornish. It’s in Seattle.”
Seattle isn’t that far from Eugene. “Isn’t Juilliard the best music school?”
Her eyes flash with surprise. Does she think I’m completely clueless? “I’m not good enough for Juilliard.”
