Page 81 of Love Me Steadfast
Shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. “I got the feeling Gus wouldn’t have hesitated with that shotgun of his.” It’s the truth. It’s just not all of it.
William’s eyes darken, which is all the proof I need.
Zach and Sofie’s driveway is packed with trucks and cars from all the guests already here, so William parks a half a block past it on the street, beneath a giant maple tree. I jump down before he can get to me. Bags in hand and Ollie trotting ahead, the noise from the gathering ramps up with every step we take toward the house. It should feel welcoming. Hell, haven’t I longed for this? Missed this? I love Will’s family. But I’ve pushed them away. Hasn’t that hurt them? How could they want me here?
More memories flood my heart as we climb the steps. Only now, they’re layered with signs of Zach and Sofie’s full life. A pretty welcome wreath on the door. Curren’s shiny blue bike. A tiny pinkwatering can next to the pot of pansies on the wide porch. A pair of sparkly white sandals that must belong to Skye, Jesse’s daughter.
At the door, Will turns the knob, then touches the small of my back. Ollie races inside, but Will waits, like he can feel the hard lump I just swallowed making its way down, down.
Can he also feel me trembling?
“I’m so glad you’re here, Charlotte,” Will says, giving me a soft smile.
My answer comes out breathless. “Me too.”
From deep inside the house comes a burst of laughter. I step through the door and follow the sound to the kitchen, where Sofie, Rowdy, and Linnea are clustered around the granite island.
“Hey, you’re here!” Sofie calls, hurrying toward us, her pretty blue eyes bright. Rowdy is quick on her heels, pulling William in for a hug while Sofie embraces me. More guests crowd into the kitchen. Even though I saw many of them at Thunder Mountain earlier today, it feels different in this setting. I get more hugs than I can keep track of. Until today, I had only seen most of Will’s family in pictures—single moments frozen in time. The real thing, chaotic and utterly perfect, makes my heart vibrate inside my chest.
From across the crowded kitchen, my brother’s eyes find mine, and his effortless grin lights up his whole face. When I smile back, my eyes are tight with what I’m trying so hard to hold inside.
I’ve missed so much in my time away, it’s like waking up in a new decade. That same longing throbs deep inside me, even as I try to shut it down. Is it too late to catch up? Too late to feel like I belong again?
Chapter Twenty-Five
WILLIAM (AGE 16)
Watchingin the mirror like Zach taught me, I redo my tie, going slower this time, but the knot still looks too big.
“Here, let me help,” Zach says, jumping up from the faded couch in the groom’s cabin. Sawyer and Hutch stand near the door in their tuxes, laughing about something.
“Thanks,” I sigh.
Zach’s eyes fix on the task as he unknots my disaster. “You holding up okay?”
I laugh. “I’m the one who is supposed to askyouthat.”
His smile lights up his entire face. “I’ve got my brother here, my two best friends, and our Alaska family, a career I love, and I’m marrying the woman of my dreams today. I’d say I’m doing all right.”
I offer him my fist, but he grabs me in a hug. I hug him back, emotions spinning higher inside my chest. I’m thrilled for my brother, and I love Sofie and her family, so I shouldn’t be sad. Maybe it’s that I miss Mom and Dad. Or that I’m still scared that this new life we’re building in Finn River is temporary, and it’ll be ripped from us. It’s happened before.
“It’s a lot,” Zach says, giving me a final squeeze. “Let it all in. It’s okay.”
He says this to me sometimes, and though I know he means well, feelings can be dangerous, so I step back and flash him a smile. “Ready to get married?”
His grin explodes on his face. “Hell yes.”
“Let’s do this!” Sawyer booms, and Hutch gives a rowdywhoopbefore leading us out the door.
Though we practiced everything yesterday, seeing the grounds prepped for the ceremony and the guests filing down the aisle and taking their seats brings everything sharply into focus. Or maybe it’s the music filtering from near the wedding arch.
Charlotte’s music.
She and Morgan are playing a duet, their notes bright and lively. They’re out of sight on the other side of the guests filing down the aisle, but every now and then, one of their bows jumps into view.
When Sofie told me she’d begged Charlotte and Morgan to play at their wedding, it felt like a secret wish coming true.
I can still feel my hands on her waist as we kissed in my truck. Remember the way her breaths quickened as she kissed me back. The warmth of her lips on mine. The heat building between us. Stopping when we did was the right thing to do, but I meant what I said. I’m not about to forget it. Or give up on the possibility that we could be more.
