Page 141 of Love Me Steadfast
My heart thunders in my ears and my body quivers with unspent emotions pushing up to the surface. I cry into his shoulder while my tired heart bleeds the hurt and betrayal, cutting herself open for me. The cold fire of shame lurking in the darkness creeps upward, into the light, flickering as it melts. Carried into the clouds by the gentle wind.
William rocks me gently, reassuring me with tenderness and his steadfast love that’s never wavered, even when I pushed him away.
I fall and he catches me, over and over.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers in my ear. “I’ve got you and I’m never letting go.”
Chapter Forty-Four
CHARLOTTE
Raindrops patteringon the metal roof draws me from sleep. When I reach down, feeling for Ollie, she nudges my hand. “Hey, girl.” I stroke her soft head and she gives a soft huff in contentment.
A crackle from the woodstove and the scent of coffee tempts me from bed. William said he’s coming back, but I can’t wait.
I slept in William’s Glory Holes T-shirt, wrapping myself in his peppery scent, so I pull on a pair of cozy joggers and my thick socks and pad into the kitchen.
William’s outside on the covered porch, a cup of coffee in his hand, the steam curling into the morning air. He’s barefoot and wearing a pair of gray sweats and a T-shirt, his dark hair disheveled from my fingers. Beyond, the steady rain blurs the surrounding trees to a soft green.
He turns, his dark blue eyes locking with mine. A flicker of emotion plays across his face, making my chest swell and my skin tingle. Framed by the blurred forest and falling rain, I try to capture the look of love and understanding on his face, plant it inside myheart. There’s a yearning for it to grow roots…but where do we go from here?
Since we returned to Finn River, he’s barely left my side, even coordinating a few extra days off so we have time to sort through everything. Everett and Zach came by last night to tell me that the DNA evidence on file with the Garnet County Sheriff’s Department would be turned over to the federal task force that is building a case against Nic Salazar. More women have come forward since his arrest at Creekside two days ago, and the FBI found what they believe are his trophies—items he takes from his victims. I have a feeling my pendant is in his collection, but I’m not sure I want it back.
When I slide the screen open, Ollie trots down to the grass, tail wagging. William opens one arm and I step into his embrace.
A steady rain taps on the metal roof above us and the air is rich with the scent of sage, and cool against my skin, a perfect contrast to the warmth radiating into me from William’s solid body.
He sighs into my hair. “Morning, beautiful.”
The sincerity in his tone sends my heart skipping. “Morning.” I press a kiss to the chiseled edge of his jaw.
He kisses my forehead, his lips tender. I steal the mug from his hand and take a sip. It’s doctored with my hazelnut creamer. “Don’t tell me I’ve corrupted you?” I ask with a laugh.
“This way we can share it,” he replies with a playful smirk.
I hand the mug back but he leans out to place it on a table, then lifts me up and carries me to the daybed. He kneels on the edge and tugs back the fluffy comforter before lowering me to the center, my head on the soft pillows. The bed sways as he settles on his side next to me and pulls the covers up, creating our own little cocoon. He caresses my hair back from my forehead and smiles.
I cup the back of his neck and draw him closer. He kisses me, his lips so tender. I stroke down to the small of his back and tuck my fingers beneath his T-shirt, because I need to touch him. Since he held me on the riverbank while my heart cracked open andeverything spilled out, I’ve needed to touch him constantly, so I can be sure this is real.
Will sighs against my lips and combs through my hair. His tongue darts out, catching mine, and my heartbeat ticks higher in my chest. I caress up his back, delighting in the toned planes of muscle and his warmth. I’m overwhelmed with the desires bursting to life inside me. For us to take our time. To speed everything up. To explore. To savor. To make plans but also honor the past, our mistakes. So we don’t make the same ones again.
But lying in wait, beneath all of that, are the questions still unanswered between us.
I tug his T-shirt up his chest, and he helps me yank it off. We kiss again while I explore, making sure to feather my fingertips over the beautiful blackbird soaring in flight. When he catches sight of it, does it make him sad, angry? Or does it fill him with longing for what we lost?
Will strokes down my arm and to my lower back, over his T-shirt. I let myself get lost in his kisses, in his gentle touch while the desire that’s been smoldering inside me glows hotter, filling me with the most decadent yearning.
He pulls back, his gaze tense with apprehension. “When I asked you before…if there was anything I needed to know…” He swallows hard. “How was that for you, to be with me…after experiencing something so horrible?”
I release a slow breath and caress along his jaw and sink my fingers into his hair. “I meant what I said, Will. I trust you. I always have.”
He smiles, but his lips quiver. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but…baby, I need to be able to take care of you.”
“I’m okay,” I say as the emotions sift inside me like a gentle current. I blink back a rush of tears. “When it…happened…there was this orchid…on the counter.” I reach up to swat my cheeks. “I remember taking a piece of myself and…placing it inside one of the blooms. So it would be safe. I pictured it growing up through the ceiling,away from everything.” I curl my fingers into his hair and draw in a slow breath. “I think I’ve been saving that piece for you.”
Anguish tightens his features as he catches my tears with his thumb. “As long as I get your broken parts too, baby. Because I love every single part of you. You don’t have to hide anything from me.”
I blink back more tears because isn’t this the true meaning of love? “I wanted to tell you…after,” I say as the tears spill down my cheeks. “But it was too risky. I knew what you would have done. I couldn’t lose you like that.”
