A terrible, potentially soul-destroying, desperate hope.
“You run and I’ll follow,” Bolan growls. “I’ll fuck you where I find you. Then I’ll bite you, make you mine. Because I’m tired of denying who I am to you. I’m not remotely worthy of you. I can’t do anything to change the circumstances of my birth or thestupid choices I’ve made out of fear. But the fucking universe says you’re mine. You’re my soul-bound mate.”
I’m not breathing properly. I’m light-headed from it. Or from trying to contain everything … all this emotion. Or maybe from trying to deny everything …
“Don’t you fucking run.”
I run.
3
BOLAN
Mirth abandons the backpack,pivots, plants one hand in the mud. Then she fucking springs to her feet and dashes into the woods as if she was born to run.
As if she was born to be chased.
By me.
The wolf slams into me in a desperate attempt to take over, to chase his mate, shoving me forward onto my hands. I’m already on my knees. And I plan to stay on my knees for as long as I need to be there, as long as I need to convince Mirth I’m willing to do whatever it takes to regain her trust.
I lose a few moments in a struggle to gain control of myself. I’m not entirely successful, because my fingers are suddenly tipped with wicked claws, and my incisors are cutting into my bottom lip. The wolf’s instincts, his desperate need, flood my mind.
Drug-free for the first time in years and with the wolf ascendant, I can smell Mirth. The combination of her anger, grief, and need is like a sledgehammer to my brain.
The wolf is convinced we can soothe everything for our mate.
But first she has to be ours, completely.
Not only claimed, but with that claim accepted, reciprocated.
I ease onto my feet, still warring with the instinct to run on all fours.
I can hear each of Mirth’s footfalls. Her little gasps and huffs as she inhales and exhales.
I yank off my sweater, then my boots and socks, wrestling the wolf further back instead of also removing my jeans. Then, setting out at a light jog, I follow Mirth deeper into the woods.
I find her long sweater-jacket abandoned about a minute later, snatching it up while still moving steadily after her. I bring it to my nose to scent her. Mirth doesn’t wear perfume, she never has. But there’s shea butter and jojoba in her skin cream, along with that indescribable but unmistakable scent that is just Mirth. And her essence.
My brain ever-so-helpfully flashes to watching Christoph delicately feed my Mirth slices of peach — to the memory of her bringing the peach to breakfast in the first place — like it was some sort of slow tease between them. As if he weren’t the archduke of illegal bareknuckle fights well before his more recently acquired royal titles. I wonder if that’s how the hulking bear shifter interprets the sweet tang in her scent. Ripe peach.
Mirth has changed direction. She dropped the sweater in an attempt to confuse me. But I don’t need eyes or ears or a sharp nose to find her. She thrums through my chest. She’s in my erratic heartbeat, which steadies the closer I get to her.
Deep within the birch trees and well out of view of the main house, Mirth’s breathing is ragged as she finally slows her pace to a walk, looking back over her shoulder for me. But I’ve skirted around her, stalking her to satisfy the wolf … just a little. Her shoulders stiffen, and she slowly pivots to scan the trees encircling her.
She can feel me.
I’ve always noted how I can get into her space without her noticing. How Sully could too. I thought it was just pure trust, but now I know for certain it’s something else.
Our souls were divided from the same section of the universe. Our destiny is to find and fortify each other on this plane of existence. Through every lifetime.
Whether or not I’m actually worthy of that.
Mirth stills, looking right at me now, though I know the shadows between the trees hide me from her sight.
She could reject me.
The chase, this chase, and the ultimatum could trigger her to fully reject me. And that would be the end of it. Because I’ve already damaged the bond between us. I can feel it all twisted in my chest. A rejection from Mirth will sever it completely.
