I find myself hoping I haven’t pulled Tereza away from anything more important than my visit, because I can feel her anxiety from all the way out in the car park. And not just because my hold on my own essence gifts has become more … unbound of late. By choice.
That makes me dangerous, it seems.
But I might need to be a little dangerous, and much more unpredictable, to get through … well, formally mourning Armin in order to somehow embrace my predestined place in the world.
Though I know that the grief of losing my brother— my crux, even if we weren’t soul bound within the essence of the universe— will never truly leave me.
“I thought we were expected?” Roz says. The combat mage tucks her phone away, stepping up to stand just behind my right shoulder. The stance — behind me instead of in front — is another of our compromises. We’ve been compromising for theentire trip. Roz would have preferred for me to not leave any of the royal properties at all. I would have preferred to sneak away without her.
I smile at Tereza, striding forward so she doesn’t have to cross all the way to the car park to greet us.
The lynx shifter shakes her head, tossing golden curls all around her neck and shoulders. Then she visibly reins herself in, pausing a few steps beyond the stairs, hands clasped before her, back stiff. A chilly breeze lifts the pressed collar of her gold silk blouse. She’s paired the blouse with wide-legged wool crepe pants, a statement gold belt, and spiked heels.
“Tereza,” I say as we near, hoping my informal use of her first name will set the tone. “Thank you for seeing me at such —”
Tereza curtsies. Deep and low.
I sigh — though only internally. Because despite my wardrobe and my hopeful attitude, I’m still a fucking princess, aren’t I? “Please, Lady Landenberg. We’re all friends here, yes?”
Tereza raises just her head, blinking up at me. That’s when I notice the red-edged eyes she’s mostly disguised, rather expertly, with makeup. She’s been crying … because of me? Because of me making the appointment with her?
Tereza slowly straightens, glancing at Roz and then behind us, as if expecting us to be flanked by more of the royal guard. As if she’s anticipating further ramifications because her two chosen, Lukas and Radek, playfully— and most ill-advisedly— attempted to kidnap me during our courting.
“I’m earlier than expected,” I say pleasantly, trying to ease Tereza’s tension. “I thought about stopping for a hot chocolate in town, but decided that you wouldn’t mind if I wandered the property for a bit before lunch? I don’t wish to be a bother.”
Tereza’s anxiety finally ebbs, enough that it’s no longer pressing against me. An unfortunate side effect of my powerthat I’ll have to compensate for if I’m not going to be bottling everything up so tightly.
“You’re welcome to wander where you will, Your Highness. Always welcome.”
“Just down to the lake house,” I say. “And perhaps … a glimpse into my old rooms? If they aren’t occupied?”
“Moravia Hall isn’t currently in use,” Tereza says, still clasping her hands together just a little too tightly. “We’re … the roof is leaking, unfortunately. We’ve temporarily patched it, of course.”
“But you’re looking to renovate.”
“We’re just two months before the summer break.” Tereza turns slightly toward the door in a clear offer for me to follow her into the main building. She flashes me a smile that is far more in character than the hand wringing. “And about to reach out to our parents and donors.”
I laugh quietly. “Well, let’s see if I can be of any assistance.”
“I wasn’t able to get all the paperwork in place —”
“Really?” I ask playfully, cutting her off. “With less than a day’s notice and during spring break?”
Tereza’s gaze and tone are terribly serious as she steps slightly closer, towering over me in her heels. “Anything the Line of Landenberg can do, Your Royal Highness. We’re in your service.”
“No need for oaths of fealty, Tereza. We are friends.”
She swallows, then nods stiffly.
I place my hand on her arm gently, knowing my energy might be off-putting, but still not liking the concern lurking behind her red-edged eyes and woven within her anxiousness. “If I’m not too much trouble,” I add teasingly.
Tereza’s eyes crinkle at the edges. “I’ve never been concerned about a little trouble, Your Highness.”
I laugh quietly, allowing my hand to drop away from her arm. “Where and when shall I meet you for our lunch? The dining hall?”
Tereza hums. “I thought the staff lounge. Do you know where it is? And in forty-five minutes?”
“I’ll come through the lakeside gardens,” I say, already turning away. The weight of Armin’s urn across my shoulders is a reminder of the main reason for my visit. “Thank you for coming in on what I assume was supposed to be …” Realizing what I’m saying as the rote pleasantries fall from my mouth, I don’t finish the thought.
