Page 27 of Lines Drawn
He moves in, pulling his own knife. “You asked to take all of Benjamin’s future punishments, remember? You’re not a Martelli. Il Padrone will never go for that.”
I smile. “I could become one.”
“You’d leave me so easily?”
“No, Cris. Nothing about this is easy, but I’m already Benjamin’s. I would do anything for him. Even if it meansmarrying him in order to take that burden from him.” I drop my knife to the floor, kicking it away. “We can start right now. You think Ignacio needs to be punished for touching Roman? Well, Benjamin touched me. So, go ahead, punish him.”
“You think I won’t stab you, Tennant?”
“Fucking do it then, Cristian! You already know I’m willing to take his punishments. You think I’m putting him above you? Well, the same fucking thing is happening to you and me.”
He lashes out, and I don’t stop him. The pain from being stabbed isn’t nearly as awful as the pain in my heart from Benjamin pushing me away.
“Keep going,” I taunt. “Gut me. Cut me open and leave me to die.”
“You’d really do it, wouldn’t you? You’d die for him.”
“Same as you would for Allesandro…”
My vision whites out for a moment as he rips the knife from me, and throbbing pain follows the rush of blood.Doc is going to be pissed that he has to patch me up again.
Taking out my second knife, I move to grab him again, ignoring the pain as I hold him to me. “Deny it. Go ahead. I want you to lie to me, Cris. For the first time in our lives, I want you to lie and tell me you wouldn’t give whatever penance Il Padrone asked.”
“I fucked up, Ten,” he says with a gasp. “I didn’t mean to cut him open the way I did.”
“I know. I know. You did it because you love your son. Because you stupidly love me… Because you love Il Padrone.”
He sags and I adjust my grip to hold his weight, stumbling as my wound reminds me it's still there. I hit the bed as I walk backwards, and we tumble onto it.
“You should kill me,” he whispers in my arms.
“I should. But I won’t. I think the consequences of your actions are punishment enough—though, if Il Padrone changes his mind, I won’t stop him.”
He lets out a strained laugh. “I need to get you to Doc.”
“Let me bleed out,” I reply.
Cristian pushes himself up and stares down at where I’m steadily bleeding. “Forgive me?”
“Not on your fucking life, Cris. If Benjamin doesn’t take me back, I’ll put you in a bed next to Ignacio and your son. Understand?”
He smiles a little. “Carter threatened the same thing. What is it about the Amatos and the Martellis?”
“They’re ours,” I say simply. “Now, go get a medical professional.”
He huffs a laugh, but reaches across the bed to rip a pillowcase off, and he uses it to staunch the bleeding. I hiss but don’t flinch as I close my eyes and let the pain flow through me, hoping like hell it’ll eventually drown out the fuckingfeelingsI’m having.
“You should get some rest.”
I glance over at my best friend in disbelief. Rest? While we still don’t know if Ignacio is going to live? Fuck that.
“There’s no way I’m leaving,” I snap, continuing my pacing.
Lio’s red-rimmed eyes watch me carefully. I feel shitty for not asking him what happened when he disappeared, but I can’t bring myself to. Not right now when my mind is already spiraling. He steps in front of me the next time I pass by him, touching my chest until I come to a stop.
Frowning at me, he narrows his eyes. “Seriously. You need to calm down. This isn’t going to help Ignacio. I understand you’re panicking, but he’s going to need you to be strong. Especially with the long road to recovery he has in front of him. And there’sno way he won’t recover. He won’t leave our family—and you, specifically.”
I slump against Lio and give him a weak nod. I know there’s no way Ignacio will leave me, no matter the amount of hurt I’ve caused him. I don’t deserve it. Even though he has Roman now, he’s made no secret of still loving me. I’ve taken it for granted, though. Maybe if I had just… Fuck. I don’t know. I can’t help thinking this is all my fault.
