Page 22 of Lines Drawn
Swallowing, I force my hands down, opening my eyes as I stumble toward my desk. How can I condemn a fellow boss… and more, a father? I can’t, even though my soul cries for my Chaos. Part of me wants to demand recompense. The same as I’d do to any Boy. But I can’t. He’s another Boss. He’s not under my domain, despite the feelings developing between us.
I keep my eyes averted from the Martelli motto. It’s ringing hollow in my heart right now.
Nothing is going right. Nothing since coming home has made sense. Suddenly, the men are challenging us. Fuck, I’m watching the only man I’ve given my heart to fall in love with another man. One who rebuffs my attempt at domination.
Cringing, I hate that I pushed him too far. I try to take deep breaths as I sit, but it’s like the air is being sucked out of the room. Shame builds inside me. Emilio has taught me better than to impose my rule.He’s my compass when I’m lost…
My father’s voice, never far, slithers into my mind. Reminding me. Urging me.
“Never give your heart. Never show weakness. I will break you, and by doing so, I’ll teach you how to break others. No son of mine will be weak. You can’t afford to be. Not if you want to be safe, not if you want to keep those who rely on you safe.”
I shudder, hating it. His mocking tone. His cruelty. The torture he inflicted, on his men and on me. I let him twist me, mold me, force me to act as his heir, as the Il Padrone to the Martelli Family.
Twin flames live inside me. One is an icy acceptance for his ways, and the other is a fiery spite that urges me to change, to be better. It's my uncle’s voice, joined by Lio’s. Teaching me, letting me see there’s more out there.
And yet, shut away in a cage, stripped of our mantels, those flames didn’t die. They couldn’t be smothered. The feelings I have for Cristian, the respect, spurred me to believe in the fiery spite.
But then we got home…everything was torn asunder. Two Families were united, but not through us, their Bosses. Instead, they’ve torn apart everything Cristian and I fought for, like it’s nothing. As if the time we spent together, our time held in captivity, meant nothing to them…
Bitterness wells up inside me, the need to vomit pushing against me as everything spins out of control. Fear. Worry. It whirls around me, twisting me, mocking me, stealing my very breath.
“As my heir, you must learn to be cold. The steel of your dagger is no match for the steel that’s inside. I will tear you down until you don’t react, until you grasp that you cannot have warmth.
“Instead, you must find the icy tendrils inside you, and push foolish empathy and relationships aside. You must control yourself—and others. Their will needs to becomeyourwill. That’s how this Family survives. And if it takes beating you every hour of the day, I will make you understand.”
My phone vibrates, jarring me from the nightmares of the past. Startling, I grab it, surprised to find my hands shaking. The nausea comes back even harder as the texts roll in. From my Boys. And…from my love.Is he my love?Fuck…
Unable to handle anymore, I push everything away and let my phone drop onto the desk. For once, I draw on the lessonsfrom my father without grief, but with gratitude. Because the cold is what I need.
My breathing steadies as I draw the frozen shell toward me, even as my heart flinches from it. But it won’t be permanent. No, just long enough to regain my sanity. It’s slipped, and this has worked in the past. It’s how we built our forces.
I briefly imagine Emilio’s heartbroken face, but I shake my head against the foolishness. No, he’ll understand and he’ll forgive. He’ll have to. Because I’m Il Padrone…and my word is law. Always.
There can only be one Il Padrone. One Master. One Boss. And the Boys must answer to me—or else. My word will be law once again. And the Family will fall in line.
“Fuck!” I snarl as I lean forward in the backseat of the SUV. “Get to the house. Quick!”
Tennant shifts next to me, his icy blue eyes boring into mine. It’s almost enough to send shivers through me, but when my phone pings again, my attention is fully distracted. Fuck. This is not good.
“What’s happening, Mostrotto?” His voice is steady, showing none of the urgency running through me. I bare my teeth at him, but he chuckles.
“Your Boss gutted Ignacio. I need to get home. Benjamin is…” I shake my head, unable to contemplate where my best friend is emotionally.
I have no fucking clue why Cristian would target Ignacio. Hell, if it’s over the relationship he has with Roman… No, that doesn’t make any sense. He wouldn't gut someone his son loves.
“What the fuck did Ignacio do? He’s a fucking dumbass, but he must have really screwed up.”
Tennant’s response has me doubting what happened. I send a message to Master, but he doesn’t respond. There’s nothing but silence from anyone. Even Benjamin has stopped responding.
I yank at my hair, not sure what the fuck to do. As soon as the SUV slows down, I open the door, only for Tennant to pull me back. “Let me go!”
“No, Mostrotto,” he snaps at me. “Wait until we’re stopped. I’m not going to have Hollis and your Master on my ass because I let you get injured. We will make it to Benjamin.”
Growling, I let him pull me back until the vehicle stops. As soon as he lets go, I’m out the door and bounding up the steps with only one destination in mind. Tennant is keeping up with me, but I’m only vaguely aware of him. No, I’m on a mission to get to my best friend.
“Lio!” Benjamin’s frantic cry almost brings me to my knees when I round the corner to the medical wing. I don’t stop until he’s wrapped around me, holding on desperately, as if I can fix whatever the fuck is happening. “They…they don’t know if he’ll live. He was gutted! I don’t know how he’ll survive. I was nearby because it’s where I keep my equipment for physical therapy, and when I heard the commotion…
“Fuck, when Doc saw what had happened, he was cursing as he jumped into action. It… And Cristian! He just fucking stood back with no expression on his face! All he said to me is,“He shouldn’t have touched my son.”Like that was worth anything!”
