Page 85 of London Inked Boys: The Complete Trilogy
“You’re more than welcome.”
I’m nervous but determined. This is what I want more than anything.
Two days later, Sophia’s discharged from hospital.
Of course, it’s not the last she’ll see of the place—far from it. I hate that she has to go back to her parents’ house, while I’m still in my flat share. I told her that I’ll get her a ring, but she said it won’t be much use anyway, as she isn’t allowed to wear them due to the fluid build up and the swelling. I hate that we want to get married but we can’t even live together yet or even wear an engagement ring. But I can’t ask Sophia tocome and live in the crappy three-bedroom place with the other guys—especially not when she’s sick—and I still need to be able to get into work every day, so I can’t stay at her parents. Not that I’d ask to do that anyway.
I haven’t told anyone about taking the test to see if I could be a donor. If it comes back that we’re a match, I want to be able to surprise Sophia with it. I know she’ll probably give me an argument and tell me that I don’t need to do it, but it doesn’t matter what she says. If I can give her this gift, then I’ll do it happily.
She’s still a little fragile after the pneumonia, but I do my best to remember what she said about the reasons she’d not told me why she’s so sick in the first place. She hadn’t wanted me to treat her any differently to any other woman, and I do my best to make things as normal as possible. We cuddle up on the couch or in bed during the evenings, watching Netflix, and ordering the occasional takeaway, though Sophia needs to be extra careful about what she eats because of all the salt. It’s hard, though, not to always have her illness at the front of my mind, and I understood why she’d kept its severity from me for so long. There’s fear in my heart now that I might lose her one day—and not lose her because she’s decided to leave me or move away this time, but lose her for good.
Then I get the call.
16
SOPHIA
We’ve been planning a trip to the cinema to watch the latest Marvel release, but by the time the evening rolls around, I find I’m too tired to go out. Instead, Rocco arrives at my parents’ house, and we squirreled ourselves away in my room. My parents have begrudgingly accepted Rocco’s presence in my life. After he dropped everything and raced to my side when I was in hospital, and had shown up every day to see me, they’d seen we are serious about each other. The marriage proposal had also come as a surprise to them, but they’d told me they won’t hold me back from what I want. Though no one said it out loud, I know they’re all thinking the same thing. There’s a good chance my life will be shorter than most. Saying ‘I do’ to Rocco might not mean the possible fifty years of marriage most people have ahead of them at my age, and I don’t have the time available to most to put things off.
He's quiet this evening as we lay on my bed, watching television. I keep looking over at him, noting the way his brow is furrowed, his lips pinched. Maybe I’m worrying unnecessarily, and his silence doesn’t have anything to do with me. Perhaps something at work is bothering him.
“Is everything okay, Rocco?” I force myself to ask, after the silent minutes stretch to an hour. “You seem like something is on your mind.”
He bites his lower lip and shifts around on the bed to face me. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
To my horror, his eyes fill with tears. I’ve never seen him cry before—at least not since he’d been about nine years old. Even when his father had died, he’d been clearly distressed, but he’d never shed a tear.
“Oh, my God, Rocco. What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “I failed you.”
My stomach plunges. “What are you talking about?” I’m terrified about what he’s going to say. Has he met someone else? Has he decided this is all too much for him and is going to leave me? I don’t want to hear what he’s going to say but know I need to.
“I had myself tested to be a donor, so you could get a new kidney, but I wasn’t a match.”
I stare at him. That’s the last thing I expected him to say, but with his words, all my fears are swept away. “You did that for me?”
He nods and angrily swipes away at a tear that slides down the side of his face. “I wanted so badly to make you well again. I couldn’t think of any better way than for you to carry a piece of me inside you, but it won’t work because I’m not a match.”
“Oh, baby.” I hold my arms out to him, and we slot against each other, bodies held tight, faces pressed to skin, fingers knotted in hair. “I can’t believe you’d do that for me.”
“But I can’t. That’s the whole point. I’d wanted to give you that more than anything in my life, but it’s been taken out of my hands.”
I pull away so I’m able to look into his face. “Lots of things are taken out of our hands in this world. We just have to learn howto live with them and make the best of what we have. We still have each other, and that’s what counts.”
“I know, it just would have been so right, if I’d been able to do that. They warned me the chances were I wouldn’t be a match, but I still pinned my hopes on it.” He shakes his head again. “Stupid of me.”
“No, it wasn’t stupid. It was wonderful. I can’t tell you what it means to me that you’d put yourself through that for me.”
“I love you so much, Sophia. I always have. I’d literally put myself through anything for you, if I could. I’d happily take away your illness if it meant I was the one who was sick.”
I lean in and place my lips to his, tasting the salt from his tears. He kisses me back, and I put my hand to his cheek.
“I would never want that, because I love you, too. That’s why we’re going to get married and be together forever now, or at least as long as forever is for us.”
“I’ve got some other news,” he tells me, a smile finally touching his lips.
“You do?” I say, wondering what it could possibly be.
