Page 265 of Swords of Soul and Shadow
THE BATTLE RAGED IN KASE’S chest, his mind, his body, his very soul. All of him burned—from his skin to his soul, it was all ablaze.
It hurt so blasted much. He needed to give in, to make it all go away. He would no longer feel his pain and his sorrow and the agonizing darkness.
It would be a relief, a washing away, a new start.
Maybe it would kill him, whatever was happening to him. Maybe he could just let go and live in that beautiful meadow forever, the one filled with daisies, blue mountains in the background.
But Hallie wouldn’t be there with him.
Her face swam before his eyes, crying and pleading with him. She glowed like the lights of a thousand stars. The last few months had been riddled with missteps and sorrow and mistakes, but she’d stood with him through it all. She was histruth, his forever, his very heart. He couldn’t give up. Not when she still believed in him. Not when she still needed him.
The pain spiked as if he’d been the one decapitated with the sword. His head was going to explode.
Just give in. Give into the rage. Give into the agony. Embrace the void.
He teetered on the cliff, his fingers clinging to the edge. They ached. He gripped harder.
He’d fought for so long. He’d done his best—his best just wasn’t good enough.
It had never been.
It never would be.
Sorrow and anguish had defined nearly every step of his existence. He’d never been given a chance in this life. Why should he even try to resist whatever this was? Jagamot? It couldn’t be worse than the life he’d been handed. What did he have to fight for?
But if he gave in, he lost Hallie.
No.
Kase would not give in. Would not let go, not of her.
If he hadn’t screamed for Skibs as Eravin shot power at Hallie, they would be dead. If Kase hadn’t killed Eravin, he would’ve destroyed the world. If he hadn’t been part of the induction ritual, he never would’ve saved Laurence Hixon’s life.
Three things he had saved, not ruined.
The pain lessened.
If Zeke hadn’t died, Kase never would have learned how to move on, that it was okay to do so. If Ana hadn’t died, he would’ve never learned compassion. If Kase hadn’t grown up in the Shackley family, he never would have learned strength.
Three things that could have broken him. Three ways they’d made him stronger instead.
The dark swirling power clouding his eyes lightened.
If he’d never been born, he would’ve never met Hallie.
Kase was more than a collection of screw-ups. He was more than his grief.
NO.
He would no longer allow it to dictate anything and everything he did. Kase Shackley would live, and he would live free.
The presence within him screamed, and the scorching pain of it nearly split his skull.
“I. Will. Not. Give. In.”
The fire in his veins pressed harder.
“I…refuse…to bow…to you!”
